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Ravens Rookie Hospitalized After Run-In With Stairs

By 07.27.10

This is NOT going to end well.


Ravens second-round pick Sergio Kindle may have a hard time getting the boatload of money he’s striving for in the rookie contract he’ll eventually sign if he continues displaying coordination that mirrors that of mine at the age of 5 (Okay, and at the age of now). Kindle was visiting his home in Texas when he decided that it would be best for him and his family if he headed downstairs. Unfortunately, his stairs had other plans.

The Ravens’ first pick in the 2010 draft fell down two flights of stairs at a home he was visiting in Austin, Texas, according to information released by the team on Sunday.

Kindle, the University of Texas product, is being treated at University Medical Center Brackenridge in Austin and will be unable to report to training camp with the rest of the Ravens’ rookies on Monday.

“We understand Sergio is stable at this time and that he is being tested and observed,” Ravens general manager Ozzie Newsome said. The Baltimore Sun reported that Kindle has improved the last few days and is expected to make a full recovery. -Fanhouse

How can you fall down TWO flights of stairs? Wouldn’t there be a small landing there to ensure that this is impossible? Was he lying in a crumpled heap at the first landing as his concussion addled brain told him, “Ah, I fell down one already, why not go for the set?” What probably happened is he fell down one, realized, “WHAT THE HELL, nobody saw that? IT WAS AWESOME!”, then decided to recreate his fall on the second one to garner the attention he so desired. Alas, he also gained a mildly severe brain injury along with it. Good luck explaining your predicament to Ray Lewis, champ.

Anyways, if any of you out there are a friend of Kindle, will you please email himĀ this handy guide that may be of great use to him in the future? For the rest of you, I present a video of a stupid drunk girl falling down stairs. And if you’d much rather watch robots fail miserably at something we have mostly perfected, boy are you in for a treat. I never watched I, Robot, but I will assume Will Smith eventually defeated that army of robots by going to the second story of his house.


TAGSFootballODD INJURIESSTUPID ATHLETES

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