POWER RANKINGS: SAYING GOODBYE

11.30.07 10 years ago 19 Comments

Is there anything worse in the sports media than completely senseless weekly power rankings?  Yes: anyone who claimed that Sean Taylor "had it coming."  And also people who actually have some kind of emotional investment in power rankings. 

1. Sean Taylor.  RIP #21.  For further reading, today's Prelude takes an angle that you probably haven't seen yet (and thanks to Steve DeBerg for Vendetta for the comment that inspired it).

2. Victoria's Secret Models.  With these girls in sports stories, I'm giving ScarJo the week off.  Check out Selita Ebanks in Foxborough, Marko Jaric in Adriana Lima, and Miranda Kerr (right) in my fantasies. Worthwhile super hi-res here.

3. Quidditch.  Let's take a road trip to Vassar.  Bring your blue collar rage, public school education, and (most importantly) an instrument with which to bludgeon hippie douchebag children's fantasy book enthusiasts.  Your fists will suffice in a pinch.

4. Surviving a roadside DUI check without getting arrested.  I've done it it three times, maybe I should give Tony LaRussa some lessons.

5. The Los Angeles Rams.  They rammed it all the time.  And they didn't stop coming until they put you on your back.  They sound like considerate lovers.

6. Pigeon racers.  They demand recognition!

7. Carl from ATHF.  His last name's too long for me to write down, but he proves that Eli Manning jokes always work.

8. Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Barbie.  It would be a great doll if she weren't so fat

9. Dancing with the Stars pros.  I'd say Cheryl Burke > Kym Johnson > Julianne Hough, but if I had to settle for banging the 19-year-old blonde, well, I could live with that.

10. Bo Jackson.  Good to see him living a happy life, what with all the bow-hunting and large trucks and bear killing.  It's like he's trying to live Sly Stallone's filmography.

This week's random video: the day after Thanksgiving in Salt Lake City.  White people scare me.

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