The bad news? It was a 47-year-old guy (emphasis added):
[Gary Jones] of Gettysburg, was sentenced to one month in jail followed by two months of house arrest and 21 months of probation. He was also ordered to avoid contact with his neighbors and to pay a $200 fine.
Police said Jones emerged naked from his home after consuming alcohol Aug. 1 and approached neighbors Dennis Hucks, Gary Kerns and Andrea Orndorff while Huck’s three children played nearby. He told the men that he knew karate and asked if any of them wanted to fight.
Jones allegedly told officers that he knew leaving his house naked was illegal, but he came out anyway because he is a “serious martial artist.”
That guy is a serious martial artist. And that’s why he went outside to show those kids his wang. He probably wanted to re-enact that Bruce Lee movie, Enter The Toddler.