Some of you may find my fixation with the English Premier League curious. Sure, it has the highest level of soccer you'll see outside of international and interleague tournaments, but it's still… soccer. And it's not even soccer being played in America. So what's the big deal?
The big deal, my friends, is the game's Wives and Girlfriends, or WAGs. No other sports league in the world offers such a wide variety of money-grubbing sluts vying for the attention of so few misbehaving athletes and their outlandish salaries. So, in order to celebrate the return of the EPL season, I've enlisted the help of the wondrously sharp tart at