Okay, maybe not, but how awesome would Catholicism be if you had to dodge one of Dirk's sh:tty picks to get to the altar.

Lila Montage Jill Scott's Light of the Year Tops Billboard Charts <a href="http://www.hitsdailydouble.com/news/newsPage.cgi?news08590m01">[HDD]</a> Which Judge Benefited Most From 'The Voice'.

The best part of watching Dirk Nowitzki throw out the first pitch at a Texas Rangers (via this video, courtesy of <a href="http://lastangryfan.com/2011/06/dirk-nowitzki-and-his-gangliness-threw-out-the-first-pitch-at-rangers-mets-game/">The Last Angry Fan</a>) game isn't his massive jorts that could house a family of five or his general gangliness, but the idea that Nowitzki cannot comprehend balls that travel in a straight line.

Contained in this video: 1.

Dear Cleveland, all of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers supporters wherever you may be tonight; As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted last year, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

On Saturday, L.

Usually our crack sports team handles game previews and recaps but I imagine that Tins is somewhere in a dark room questioning life's meaning and the rest of them don't fire up their keyboards until a little later.

At the end of Game 6 last night, Dirk Nowitzki and Chris Bosh were crying.

On Monday, CBS Sports columnist Gregg Doyel published "<a href="http://www.cbssports.com/nba/story/15202274">LeBron James: Story of an Incredibly Shrinking Superstar</a>".

The more and more the 2011 NBA Finals plays itself out, the more and more the series is taking on the form of a real life soap opera.

Since the NBA Playoffs last 8 months and the Finals of one season span the course of 4 decades, most teams are already going about their business while the Twittersphere is lighting up with referee death threats from fans of the Dallas Mavericks and the Miami Heat.

This isn't some weird conspiracy by TSS, I swear.

For about two months, I've been convinced that the Miami Heat - specifically LeBron James and Dwyane Wade - play by the philosophy that they can let an opponent get up by 10 or 15 and they can still be in control of the game, because that's when James and Wade turn it into a highlight reel.

Photo: Getty Images Last night's game didn't get interesting until six minutes deep into the fourth.

One of the things that is lost in all of the boasting by Miami Heat players and (new) fans, and the subsequent hatred that has grown from sports fans throughout the season, is that Dwyane Wade is one brilliant son of a gun.

<a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/2011/05/dirk-nowitzki-has-a-game-for-the-ages"> Few really saw the Mavs coming except for Kobe, who <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXWfxc5JVsQ">actually predicted</a> how lethal Dallas could be in the postseason.

The Dallas Mavericks are going to the NBA Finals, so they're going to need a rap song featuring basketball words.

Haydee Zimmerman Jennifer Lopez Shakes Her Ass On "Idol" [Gunaxin] Counting Down The 10 Best Teenage Emcees Of All Time [TWV] Lindsay Lohan A Reborn Christian, Shows Boobs (NSFW) [CelebJihad] Beyoncé's 4 Album Cover & Track List [HHNM] Stop Comparing Dirk Nowitzki to Larry Bird [...].

<a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/2011/05/the-thunder-vs-mavericks-preview-10-points-to-watch"> From the moment he stepped on the court last night, <a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/tag/dirk-nowitzki">Dirk Nowitzki</a> was unstoppable.

<a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/2011/05/the-heat-vs-bulls-preview-10-points-to-watch#page/1"> The West is close to being won and laymen not into <a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/2011/04/on-the-nba-playoffs-and-its-glamour-teams#page/1">glamour teams</a> will flip channels.