CHICAGO CUBS

REPORT: SOSA TESTED POSITIVE IN 2003

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You're not gonna believe this, but Sammy Sosa tested positive for the juicy juice.

50-GAME BAN

BTW, MANNY ‘DIDN’T RAPE NOBODY.’ SO THERE

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As Manny Ramirez finishes his 50-game suspension, the Dodgers are being warned to keep Ramirez out of the Dodgers clubhouse, so sayeth the <a href="http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-spw-manny-ramirez11-2009jun11,0,1659205.story">LA Times</a>.

DANICA PATRICK

DANICA WOULD HAVE TAKEN STEROIDS TO WIN

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Racing sensation and autographer of male breasts Danica Patrick was asked in SI this week if she would have taken any performance-enhancing drugs, provided that they would have helped her win the Indianapolis 500 and she would have avoided detection: Danica, who finished third at Indy last month, said, "Well, then it's not cheating, is it.

steroids

BODYBUILDERS FLEE AT SIGHT OF TESTING

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Steroid testing paranoia has reached a fever pitch in Belgium, where the mere sight of doping officials at a bodybuilding meet caused competitors to flee and eventually forced the event to be cancelled.

HORSE RACING

JOCKEY BANNED FOR STORING PEE IN ARMPIT

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An Australian jockey was suspended 18 months for handing off urine to another jockey to beat a drug test.

50-GAME BAN

LIFETIME BAN FOR MANNY? GET SERIOUS

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As Manny Ramirez sits out his 50 games,<a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4159870&campaign=rss&source=ESPNHeadlines"> ESPN</a> broke down how MLB Manny Ramirez's failed steroid test, as explained by the monolith.

50-GAME BAN

WHO GETS MANNY’S EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS?

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Amid all the speculation regarding the specifics of Manny Ramirez's 50-game suspension--What was he taking.

HGH

STALLONE WILL DIRECT YOU AS HARD AS HE CAN

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<a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=13092#more"> Today we've got yet another behind-the-scenes video from the set of <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/02/danny-trejo-joins-expendables" target="_blank">The Expendables,</a> Sly Stallone's muscular-old-men-grunting movie with Schwarzenegger, Lundgren, Rourke, Li, Trejo, Statham, and Couture.

cancer

KENNY SHAMROCK BUSTED FOR ‘ROIDS

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UFC Hall-of-Famer Ken Shamrock failed a steroid test, according to an announcement from the California State Athletic Commission Wednesday night.

alex rodriguez

A-ROD’S COUSIN GETS PETE ROSE TREATMENT

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Alex Rodriguez's now-famous peddler of drugs (that can be bought over the counter in the Dominican Republic.

BARRY BONDS

WHO WANTS TO SEE BARRY’S TESTICLES?

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So the federal prosecution in this Barry Bonds case wants to show his presumably-shrunken testicles as evidence that he took performance-enhancing drugs during his baseball career.

BUD SELIG

IT WASN’T SELIG’S FAULT

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Bud Selig says he isn't to blame for the steriods issue in baseball.

alex rodriguez

A-ROD IS SORRY

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Alex Rodriguez <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3894847" target="_blank">spoke to Peter Gammons</a> in an exclusive ESPN interview that aired yesterday, and he seemed open and remorseful about his use of performance-enhancing drugs.

alex rodriguez

A-ROD TESTED POSITIVE… NO, NOT FOR HIV

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Somebody leaked a report over the weekend that Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids in 2003, the same year that he won the MVP with the Texas Rangers.

AMERICAN GLADIATORS

REMEMBER THIS GUY? HE GREW MAN-BOOBS

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Most of you remember Dan Clark as "Nitro," the ravishing musclehead from the original American Gladiators show.

INDIANA PACERS

STUFF THAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY

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NFL -- <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3740122" target="_blank">The Vikings are hosed</a>: defensive tackles Pat and Kevin Williams have been suspended four games for using a diuretic banned for its ability to be a masking agent for steroids.

DEUCE MCALLISTER

GET READY FOR SOME NFL SUSPENSIONS

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Reggie and Deuce celebrate screwing fantasy owners for the second year in a row By now you know all about the <a href="http://canadianpress.google.com/article/ALeqM5g7bGYY35YXcv8vGEjFgY1Qd6Odow" target="_blank">traffic stop-cum-pot bust</a> for Steelers wide receiver Santonio Holmes, which, if he pleads guilty or admits to marijuana use, will land him a four-game suspension.


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