@STORYTIME

Jose Canseco Wants To Coach The Texas Longhorns And Here Is His Four-Point Plan

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MLB great (?) Jose Canseco wants to coach the Texas Longhorns (??) and detailed a plan for success that includes goat friendship (???).

LOS ANGELES LAKERS

@Storytime: Metta World Peace Destroyed A Man's Deli Because Price Tags Are Racist

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NBA star Metta World Peace told the story of the time he went to lunch, destroyed a man's deli for its racist overtones, then got into a text fight.

BRAZIL

@Storytime: The Time Renzo Gracie Batmanned Two Muggers And Live-Tweeted It

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If you weren't aware, MMA fighter Renzo Gracie is a Gracie Barra Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt and a two-time ADCC Submission Wrestling World Championship gold medalist.

ALL IN GOOD FUN

@Storytime: Jenny Johnson Tweeted Her NASCAR Experience At Texas Motor Speedway

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Greg Biffle hadn’t won a Sprint Cup race in almost two years before he overtook everyone’s least favorite NASCAR driver, Jimmie Johnson, to win the Samsung Mobile 500 yesterday in Ft.

CBS SPORTS

@Storytime: CBS Sports Reports Of Joe Paterno’s Demise Were Greatly Exagerrated

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On Saturday night, while most of the cool kids were out smoking cigarettes in the Taco Bell parking lot, news broke that Penn State coach Joe Paterno had passed away due to complications from lung cancer.

BASKETBALL

@Storytime: Ice Cube Might Have To Use His AK On David Stern

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There was already a week’s worth of backlash in the media over David Stern* blocking the trade between the New Orleans Hornets and the Los Angeles Lakers that would have teamed Chris Paul with Kobe Bryant by the time that the league announced that Paul had instead been traded to the L.

ARIZONA

@Storytime: Darnell Dockett Almost Brings A Gun To Practice

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Arizona Cardinals defensive lineman Darnell Dockett is the reason why the <a href="http://withleather.uproxx.com/tag/storytime">@Storytime</a> series exists.

Beef

@Storytime: The Random Twitter Feud Of Gilbert Arenas And Joe Mande

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Yesterday, when I suggested that Orlando Magic guard Gilbert Arenas should or at least could become the face of the NBA players’ resistance to the accusations that they’re to blame for the terrible contracts the owners gave them, I really wanted to throw together a sampler of his ridiculously stupid, T-shirt Hell-esque Twitter avatars that usually feature corny phrases like “Let’s play GI Joe – I’ll lay down and you blow the hell out of me.

DENVER BRONCOS

@Storytime: How To Hurt Tim Tebow's Feelings

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As hard as you try, it's hard to hate nearly-aborted Denver Broncos quarterback and college football hugging legend Tim Tebow.

COOL STORY BRO

@Storytime With Gilbert Arenas Turns Slurpee Rage Into Call For Equality

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While he's not nearly as colorful in his opinions as <a href="http://withleather.uproxx.com/2011/07/storytime-with-darnell-dockett-part-2-the-casey-anthony-trial#page/1">Darnell Dockett</a>, Orlando Magic guard Gilbert Arenas is undoubtedly one of the most entertaining athletes on <a href="http://twitter.com/agentzeroshow">Twitter</a> (as I’ve occasionally pointed out) because his jokes are often far funnier on the unintentional scale than they are in his head.

ARIZONA CARDINALS

@Storytime with Darnell Dockett Part 2: The Casey Anthony Trial

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Arizona Cardinals defensive tackle Darnell Dockett is a Renaissance Man.

ARIZONA CARDINALS

@Storytime with Darnell Dockett

By | 7 Comments

Celebrities and athletes love Twitter, but <a href="http://www.uproxx.com/slideshow/2011/06/25-of-the-worst-celebrity-tweets-of-all-time/">very few of them use it correctly</a>.


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