UPDATE: It was, indeed, a hoax — the result of 4chan hacking Green’s website. This is what happens when I get too close to the news cycle. Up next: stories from last Friday!
Comedian and actor Tom Green — most recently seen on “The Celebrity Apprentice” — is reportedly in serious condition after a minor car accident turned into a violent attack.
Green was allegedly driving a Mercedez [sic] in Fullerton, California when his vehicle struck a pickup truck towing landscaping equipment. Three men from the pickup truck pulled Green from his car and beat him before fleeing the scene.
“He didn’t have a chance against these men who attacked him before he said a single word to them,” says a witness. Green, 37, was unresponsive when paramedics arrived. No other details on the alleged incident were available.
Holy crap. I really wish this was some huge hoax by Tom Green, but it seems to be real. This may be the craziest thing involving Tom Green that I’ve ever heard, and I don’t get to say that a lot about ugly dudes who marry Drew Barrymore, drink cow’s milk straight from the udder, and make TV specials about their own testicular cancer. Get well, Tom.
[via Olivia Munn]
DISCLAIMER: Please note that the [original] headline ["Tom Green car wreck/attacked by Mexicans"] is facetious. Warming Glow’s non-discrimination policy explicitly states that not all landscapers are Mexicans. Some are Guatemalan.