The Clippers Are Looking For A New Mascot, And We Have Some Ideas

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The Los Angeles Times is reporting that the Clippers are, with their (questionable) re-branding effort in full swing, on the hunt for a new mascot. If and when they find one, they would leave the Knicks, Nets and Lakers as the only teams without one.

This is wonderful news. Even if not everyone likes mascots — looking at you, Robin Lopez — choosing a mascot can be thrilling for anybody. The world is your oyster! An NBA team won’t have the freedom of, say, a minor league baseball team, but based on their first (rejected idea) of “Seagull Knievel,” they’re willing to get creative. So, with an excited rubbing of the hands, let’s see if we can give Steve Ballmer and the Clips a few ideas to play with:

  • Sloop John B, an anthropomorphic ship in a bottle (trademark move would be to bang on the bottle in an attempt to break it and escape). Plus a Beach Boys reference (can be changed to something more generic like “Shippy” if the Beach Boys gouge for royalties)!
  • Dancing Steve Ballmer:
  • Clippy! It’s almost too perfect, what with the name and Ballmer’s Microsoft connection. Plus, he’s so helpful! He could walk around, saying, “It looks like you’re struggling to open a bag of peanuts. Could I help you with that?” I CAN DO IT MYSELF, CLIPPY.
  • Lobby the Lob City Lobster. As long as Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan are in town, Lob City is going to be a secondary nickname for the Clippers. And it would be cheap; I’m sure there are tons of lobster getups in costume shops all over Los Angeles.

The Clippers say that a mascot is unlikely to be chosen by the start of the season, and that they’re targeting the All-Star break for a rollout. Fingers crossed for Clippy, am I right? If you’ve got ideas, share them in the comments.

(Via L.A. Times)