We Imagined How The 2018 NBA All-Star Draft Would Go Down If Teams Were Picked Streetball Style

01.25.18 1 year ago

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There’s been a lot of complaining about the format for the NBA All-Star draft. As many of you know, this year is different than previous All-Star team selections in that instead of an East vs. West format, there are team captains who will pick their teams, streetball style. That’s all exciting, but there’s one problem: The selections won’t be televised.

That’s right. They’re all done in private and nobody will even know the order that players are picked. That’s no fun. So I decided to contact my sources, i.e. Crown Royal and boredom, to imagine how the team-picking event would go if it were done the old-fashioned way. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a bit of fanfic.

All of the NBA All-Stars, sans LeBron James and Stephen Curry, enter an empty basketball gym. DeMarcus Cousins is last. They begin to shoot around, but they wonder where Curry and LeBron are. After about an hour, two large platforms descend from the ceiling. Curry is standing on one. LeBron the other. Confetti and fireworks go off behind LeBron. Tiny sparklers go off behind Curry. The players aren’t sure who is behind the theatrics but they notice the tiny Nike swoosh under each platform.

LeBron grabs a microphone:

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