Robin Lopez Took His Latest Bout Of Mascot-Rage Out On Pierre The Pelican

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Some people get to write recaps of great TV shows, like The Young Pope and Big Little Lies. As someone who aspires to join the ranks of TV reviewers, I have to work my way up the ladder, so I’m starting with this one-minute drama between Robin Lopez of the Chicago Bulls and Pierre, the mascot for the New Orleans Pelicans.

The theme of this story is trust. Lopez is known to have issues with mascots, so Pierre attempted to offer an olive branch in the first act. A free massage? Could be this be the gesture that mends fences between basketball player and mascot? Lopez is hesitant, and understandably so, but he would like to put his angry past behind him and move forward, so he accepts the offer during warmups.

In the second act, trust is against at the forefront. Lopez dons a sleep mask, a sign he’s turned himself over to Pierre. There’s tension. There’s drama. Will Pierre rub his shoulders? Is this all a big setup? You could cut the electricity in the air with a knife.

Alas, we do not get the resolution we crave. It turns out this is all a trick and the trust is broken. While unable to see, Pierre shows this is not a free massage chair; it’s a free haircut chair.

Somehow sensing this before clippers are turned on (does Lopez have superpowers?) Lopez removes the blindfold but not before Pierre cuts a lock of hair, which is totally real and not a prop. Filled with rage, Lopez attacks the bird as rage fills the hole in his heart where love would go.

Not sure if this is the season or series finale, but I hope HBO picks this up next season.