Sure, Charlotte is one of America’s major banking centers, but the only thing bankable about this team was that they’d fail spectacularly. Paul Silas looked to be in some sort of seizure in every game, perpetually grimacing as if to say, “Seriously?” If you hedged that Bobcats bet, congratulations, you made out well. The rest of us, though, had to actually watch this team, and it was not pretty; so bad, in fact, that the Bobcats “earned” 250 out of a possible 1,000 chances to earn tonight’s No. 1.
But how has that fared in the past? Not since 2004, when Orlando was the NBA’s worst team and took Dwight Howard after winning the lottery, has the worst team won the top lottery slot. In fact, you don’t even have to be close to the top to win. The Bulls had a 1.7 percent chance in 2008, giving them the ninth-best chance. We’ll let NBA conspiracy theorists decide whether that pick, along with Patrick Ewing to the Knicks in 1985, was rigged. Instead, it’s much more fun to dream about the hypotheticals. Fantasy leagues are insanely popular in the NBA, so consider this just an extension of putting yourself in a GM’s office. How would the NBA be changed if the team supposed to win actually won?
2005: Andrew Bogut (Milwaukee). Actual worst team: Atlanta.
Atlanta needed a bigger body that season and eventually picked Marvin Williams, who was hot off his role as uber-sixth man for a title-winning North Carolina team. Bogut has been less of a bust than Williams when he’s healthy, but his arrival in ATL wouldn’t have triggered a massive change in the Hawks’ future. Now, had Atlanta gone with either Deron Williams or Chris Paul (and when Tyronn Lue and Tony Delk are your best PPG guards, there’s room for a new guard), the Hawks would likely be in the East finals at least once paired with the current squad of Joe Johnson and Josh Smith. Of course, they wouldn’t have been nearly as bad to get Al Horford so high in the 2007 draft, either. Prediction: Would have made two East finals.
2006: Andrea Bargnani (Toronto). Actual worst team: Portland.
Easily one of the most intriguing “what ifs” because while Portland was actually much better in the short-term with Brandon Roy at No. 4, they’ve since come apart at the seams with him retiring early. Bargnani’s presence still would have done nothing to keep Portland from being so bad the next year that the Trail Blazers would be in position to draft Greg Oden (sorry Blazer fans), but while he’s still around (unlike Roy) and still productive, he wouldn’t be a game-changer. That is, one in the mold of LaMarcus Aldridge, who was the No. 2 pick this year. I’m not convinced Portland would have chosen Bargnani, who doesn’t fit the mold they got in Aldridge’s more traditional post-up game. Then again, Portland does weird things in the draft, so it’s better not to assume. Prediction: A wash.
2007: Greg Oden. Actual worst team: Memphis
Even with Pau Gasol on the roster in Memphis at the time, Grizzlies’ execs could have been imagining a master plan to ship him out for good parts in return, all while replacing him with the seeming next-coming of … in-his-prime Pau Gasol. That they went with a guard, Mike Conley Jr., is logical given the Grizzlies’ third-best scorer was Chucky Atkins that season and even Damon Stoudamire played in 62 games. Kevin Durant is the can’t-miss star now, but with a player in his mold (Rudy Gay) already young and on the roster and Pau looking like incredible trade bait I could see the Grizz going with the Ohio State star. Conley, for all the head-scratching we gave his new contract last season, has become a dependable guard who’s already led one 8-over-1 playoff upset and should have gone to the second round this year. Prediction: Disaster for Memphis, back into the lottery the next two seasons.