1st look at The Smurfs, which is about magic now

06.16.10 9 years ago 21 Comments

We’ve known for some time that The Smurfs would be getting the Alvin and the Chipmunks treatment (BIG F*CKING GLASSY EYES! DANCING TO POPULAR MUSIC!).  We’ve also seen Hank Azaria in costume as Gargamel.  But today for the first time, we see an official picture of the smurfs.  Oh I know, I was as smurfed as you are.  Smurf me up a super-lame lead, USA Today.

The Smurfs are three apples tall, according to creator Peyo.  Of course, that doesn’t mean much in the Big Apple.

(*riding by on biplane*)  OOOOOOHHHHH SNNNNAAAaaaaaaaappppp…..

Of course, the original Smurfs was about Gargamel wanting to eat them, and implied cannibalism was quickly deemed too edgy for the generation of twinks we’ve raised on Zac Efron and The Disney Channel.  Changes had to be made.  Script, cast out thy consequences.

Eating the Smurfs was always Gargamel’s unfulfilled goal, but that’s one idea the filmmakers decided to scrap. “We all wondered whether we would be making a family version of Sweeney Todd,” jokes producer Jordan Kerner (Charlotte’s Web). Now, Gargamel simply wants to capture the Smurfs to serve as charms, whose mystical essence will make his inept magic more powerful — and dangerous.

A bad guy trying to eat you?  I don’t get it.  That’s stupid.  A bad guy trying to collect you like Pokemon cards?  Great, makes total sense now.  They also report that there’s also a new character, “Gutsy”, who they describe as “brave to a fault.”  I’m sure he’ll be right at home with the other new smurfs, “Bloggy” and “Participation Ribbon.”  WAIT!  DID SOMEONE SAY MAGIC??

This movie needs more Nic Cage.  There should be a smurf named Nic Cage.  He teaches the other smurfs magic with his ridiculous hair.

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