Larry the Cable Guy stars in the Tooth Fairy Part 2. No, really.

For those of you who thought the 2010 film The Tooth Fairy, starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was a little too Mr. Nanny and not enough Delta Farce, you’re in luck. Because on March 6, Tooth Fairy 2 is going to sock you in the jaw with hilarity, as Larry the Cable Guy will don the wings of the second greatest lie our parents ever told us. At least I assume that you were all told that Wilt Chamberlain was your real father, too.

The long-awaited sequel stars Larry the Cable Guy and… *stares blankly at full cast list on IMDB* some other people in the story of a – stop me if you’ve heard this before – hapless, immature redneck who tells a poor child that the Tooth Fairy doesn’t exist, and is punished by becoming the new Tooth Fairy. Perhaps the trailer’s tag line explains it best:

He didn’t ask for it… He wasn’t expecting it… And he’s not prepared for it.

So true. So incredibly true.

While I could use hundreds and probably thousands of words to break off into a rant that explains how the existence of this film – even while only as a straight to DVD production – depresses me beyond the point of sanity, I believe that this young child’s face sums up my reaction better than my words ever could…

Well put, young man.