Don’t Tase Me, Baaaaahro

Entertainment Editor

Oh, PopSci.  You scamps.

What may be the hardc0riest PopSci article ever reported on a study sponsored by Taser International and published in Academic Emergency Medicine.  Taser wanted to assess the risk of cardiac arrest in suspects who were tweaking, so they anesthetized 16 Dorset sheep then gave them IV drips of methamphetamine and tased them.  Of course.  Now I’m picturing someone blasting an unconscious sheep with a taser and saying, “I’m doing science!”

Conclusions: In smaller animals (32 kg or less), ECD exposure exacerbated atrial and ventricular irritability induced by methamphetamine intoxication, but this effect was not seen in larger, adult-sized animals. There were no episodes of ventricular fibrillation after exposure associated with ECD exposure in methamphetamine-intoxicated sheep. [ABSTRACT]

I’m still skeptical about the safety of tasing tweakers, considering Taser funded the study and two of the doctors involved are medical consultants and stockholders in TASR (one of the two being the medical director of Taser).  On the other hand, tweakers are frickin’ annoying and need to be tased.  Yeah, bring another fake prescription for Vicodin into my workplace then throw a hissy fit and threaten to sue for “embarrassment” because we called you out.  I’mma chargin’ mah taser.

Also, I made this:

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