Skynet Is Here! Amazon Is Set To Launch A Slew Of Private Label Food Brands

It seems every day takes one more step toward becoming Skynet. You know, the fictitious company from the Terminator series that had a stranglehold on the planet. They ran the show, put artificial intelligence in play and, ipso facto, accidentally ended life as we know it.

Look, we’re not saying is evil (though the corporate culture seems very Skynet-esque). They’re just continually expanding into every facet of our lives — which is super convenient and makes us more willing to give in to our corporate overlords. The truth is, it’s awesome to get socks, thyme, and headphones all delivered to your doorstep within 24 hours of ordering. The company continually makes it easier for us to not put on pants in the morning.

Now, Amazon is moving into the private label food brand world. They’re creating their own packaged snacks, nuts, teas, etc. under names like Happy Belly, Wickedly Prime and Mama Bear. (They’re also getting into the baby-food, detergent, and diaper games). It will allow them to make extra profit on high margin items while fortifying the value of a $99 a year Prime membership. They may be on the fast-track to world domination, but at least we’ll all be full on Amazon-brand Chex-Mix when the sh*t goes down.

The products are slated to launch near the end of the month.