What even is the weekend anymore? Wednesday, Friday, Tuesday… it’s all the same these days. Working the weekday grind and letting all the built-up stress melt away at your favorite bar with a group of friends is a thing of the past, for now. Luckily, no amount of social distancing will ever be able to keep us away from smoking a bowl of fresh weed. Thanks in large part to cannabis delivery services, it’s never been easier to chill at home, responsibly socially distance, and get faded out of our minds while binge-watching 90s sitcoms on Hulu. Or binge-watching a series on Netflix. Or hitting up HBO’s movie roster. Or… look our point is that we have a lot of stuff to watch, so we might as well smoke weed while we do it!
Out of respect for our collective quarantine, we’re populating this list with a carefully curated collection of high potency indica and hybrid cannabis strains. There’s no room for sativa strains here folks. These strains are designed to knock you off your feet, keep you couch-locked, ready to munch, and let whatever hours remain in the day fade and blur away.
Here are all the best cannabis strains to smoke while in quarantine.
Zookies is an absolute treat. It’s the perfect jar of flower to pop open at the end of the day, when your anxiety levels are high and the thought of going to town on a set of fresh-baked cookies sounds like a good idea and not a sugar rush nightmare. Don’t eat all the cookies, just smoke the Zookies. This balanced hybrid strain is a cross between GG#4 and Animal Cookies and features a fragrant scent with sweet undertones, dusty trichome-filled buds, and a strong body high that’ll melt your stress after the first hit.
The nugs are so dusty that the buds take on a frosted cookie appearance, which is fitting for its Scooby-Doo sounding name. Zookies has a subtle medicinal quality to it thanks to the .05% CBD and it’s slight Sativa attributes keep your mind from shutting down like your body, making it a decent social strain to share between your housemates.
Sundae Driver is similar to Zookies in its dessert-like indulgent quality, but with a much heavier Indica edge that’ll pull you deeper into the depths of your bed or couch. This isn’t a social strain — unless your idea of socializing is laying around with a significant other and doing little else. Sundae Driver is a cross between Fruity Pebble OG and Grape Pie and has a smell as sweet as the smoke it produces. Grind up some flowers and put it in a vaporizer and you’ll experience thick creamy clouds with an appetizing chocolatey flavor.
When I tested Sundae Driver through a PAX 3 vaporizer, I was able to zero in on the flavor profile and realize that this is the perfect strain to wrap in a blunt. The sweet undertones pair well with a grape or vanilla wrap, so roll up, toss on a record, and let Sundae Driver take the wheel for a few hours.
Platinum OG is an Indica strain that will provide you with a strong body high but won’t take you completely out of commission, which is great if you’re looking for a strain to relieve some minor pain so you can get on with whatever it is you’re trying to do. The strain gets its name from the dense crystal covered buds that’ll leave your fingers sticky and your grinder gunked up. This strain doesn’t like a fine grind, so break up the buds by finger and toss it in a bong stem or bowl — avoid vapes, papers, or blunts here.
Platinum OG has a deep dank scent, with a mild peppered citrus taste, but you’re not smoking this strain for the flavor, you’re here for the high — euphoric, relaxing, and relieving. Keep a glass of water on hand, Platinum OG will leave you with cotton mouth.
The planetary kush strains are one of my favorite lines of weed and of the nine, Mars is probably the tops. This strong Indica strain is the ideal choice for people who are having trouble getting to sleep, providing a high that resonates strongly in your forehead before bathing the rest of your body in deeply relaxing vibes. The dense and deeply herbal buds have an earthy burnt orange (like Mars) and olive color with bright and shimmering crystals.
Flavor-wise the strain isn’t that notable and is mostly made up of peppery pine tones, with an earthy burn that’ll leave you coughing and lightheaded. Tell your housemates it’s just the Mars.
Raskal OG, by Trees by Game (Yes, the rapper, what other Game is there?) produces a musty and harsh smoke that’ll keep your mind sharp and your body sufficiently relaxed. Visually, the buds here are thin and scraggly, with burnt orange hairs and some hidden lavender hues that reveal themselves as you break the strain up.
Raskal is a great thinking strain. If you have an issue you’re trying to work through, like writer’s block, a lack of ideas, or you’re working on something that’ll benefit from a good brainstorming session, Raskal is your strain. Probably the best social strain on this list, smoke a bowl with your housemates and start mapping out that grocery run game plan. Who knows, maybe this time you’ll find some toilet paper.
King Louis XIII
You’re going to see some discrepancies with this strain — sometimes you’ll find Louis, and sometimes you’ll find Louie. Sometimes you’ll be told it’s a hybrid, sometimes you’ll be told it’s an Indica. Don’t worry, they’re the same strain — I’ve smoked King Louis and King Louie and they’re exactly the same, and to me shows distinctive indica qualities.
For the record, the monarch the strain is named for is King Louis XIII of France. Why is this potent weed strain named after a boy King from 1600s France? No. F*cking. Idea. But it’s a good strain.
The earthy orange-flecked buds of King Louis XIII are dense and stinky, with an herbal pine flavor and a dank forest-y smell. The high is steady and relaxing, but not so heavy that you’ll be left feeling couch-locked and helpless. Still, I wouldn’t recommend smoking a bowl of Louis if you have a packed schedule of spring cleaning. It’s more fitting for more chill and mindless activities, like washing the dishes with a pair of headphones in so you can zone out in waves of relaxation.
Don’t let the name fool you, Banana OG absolutely stinks. This Indica strain doesn’t have any dessert-like or fruity qualities to it, the flavor has heavy citrus undertones under a piney base flavor — it’s not pleasant by any means. The fuzzy dense buds have a yellow undertone that quite honestly, makes the strain look old. But don’t let all that superficial stuff dissuade you, Banana OG is the type of strain only the most experienced stoners will appreciate. The rest of us? We’ll be sufficiently out of commission thanks to the insanely high THC content. I picked up a jar from Med Men and my usual routine was completely derailed. On the bright side, I smoked sufficiently less to get to that point, making this a great strain if you’re trying to stretch out your supply to last as long as possible.
Once you’re over the peak of your high, the munchies will kick in. Save this strain for the weekend when your schedule is empty. But word to the wise, prepare some easy to grab snacks beforehand because you might be too couch-locked to get up for a few hours.