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The Good, The Bad, And The Almost Un-Smokable Of Celebrity Weed Brands

The world of celebrity weed exists independently from the weed world at large. For the most part, these brands, as well as their namesakes, have little to do with cannabis culture or the cannabis they’re selling. Many celeb weed brands (especially those that popped up right after legalization) are little more than exercises in marketing — where flashy campaigns and absurd profit margins eclipse any intention of delivering a good product.

But there’s a catch with the celebrity weed industry that makes it trickier to navigate for the rich and famous than other celeb-branded spaces. Weed is a subculture with a distinct cool factor. Interlopers can be spotted from a mile away. Just because a celebrity puts out a brand, doesn’t mean smokers are going to like it. Even if they’re fans. These days, celeb brands are actually given more scrutiny than normal weed brands.

Why? Partly because there are so many of them now. But also because as cannabis culture is devoured by the mainstream, stoners have grown wary of business Chads and celebrity vultures swooping down to cash in on our magical plant and the subculture it’s created. There’s very much a sense of “where were you when we were getting high?”

If the celebrity in question was not in the trenches, using their platform to advocate for cannabis use with the stoners they’re now trying to sell weed to, the brand has a major problem and is likely going to get ridiculed within the community. It’s also the brands from non-stoner celebrities that tend to have the worst weed.

While great celebrity brands are heavily involved with the cultivation and selection of the strains they implement, others rely on white labeling — where cannabis is bought in bulk then re-branded (you also see this in plenty of celebrity booze brands too). The result is a totally polarizing sub-genre of the cannabis industry with some fire-ass weed, a lot of mids, and a handful of expensive trash.

Here’s a list to help you suss out the good, the bad, and the almost-un-smokeable of celebrity weed brands out there.

Cookies by Berner

Cookies
Cookies Instagram

The Brand:

While it seems almost redundant to write anything about Cookies as they’re possibly the most visible brand in the weed world, it’s easy to forget that not only is Cookies a celebrity brand, it’s the most successful one of all time. Founded by Bay-area rapper Berner in 2012, Cookies has ballooned into its own empire– complete with a hype-beast subculture of avid fans.

Bottom Line:

With over 30 retail outlets in eight states and two countries, Cookies maintains their reign with proprietary genetics like their eponymous Girl Scout Cookies strain, as well as working with some of the best farms and growers in the world, like their recent collaboration with the Humboldt legacy brand Ridgeline Farms.

Insane by B-Real

B-Real
Insane Instagram

The Brand:

Insane by Cypress Hill artist B-Real is a perfect example of a celeb weed brand that checks all the boxes. Great weed? Check. Bonafide stoner owner? Check. Insane in the membrane? You betcha.

Bottom Line:

B-Real is one of the most legit businessmen in legal weed today. He’s the owner of the Dr. Greenthumb dispensary chain and now the cannabis company Insane. Each carefully curated and extremely potent strain is a reflection of B Real’s lifelong commitment to loving, smoking, and creating great cannabis.

Mind Your Head by Mickey Heart

Mind Your Head Cannabis
Mind Your Head Website

The Brand:

Mind Your Head is a magical preroll brand from the legendary Mickey Hart, drummer for the most stoned band of all time, The Grateful Dead. With two offerings, Magic Minis (mini prerolls) and Space Tickets (blunt-like prerolls infused with ice-water hash), this brand from a true OG is sure to steal your face.

Bottom Line:

Though it’s not clear where the weed comes from for these prerolls, Mickey Hart can do no wrong in the eyes of the stoner community. That passes the vibe check with kaleidoscopic colors.

Forbidden Flowers by Bella Thorne and Glass House Farms

Forbidden Flowers
Forbidden Flowers Instagram

The Brand:

Forbidden Flowers is an example of a different type of celeb weed brand, the collab. It’s often that celebrities (with little connection to the cannabis industry) will team up with an already existing brand to put out their line. In my opinion, this is a more reputable route to take than the straight corporate white label. At least the celeb is coordinating with people who care/know about weed in some capacity.

Bottom Line:

While Bella Thorne definitely smokes weed, this is a brand that feels more branded in her likeness than something she has a ton to do with. Glass House is a good weed brand, though, so at least the flower is worth smoking. And I like the glittery packaging.

Houseplant by Seth Rogen

Houseplant
Houseplant Instagram

The Brand:

Now for one of the most polarizing brands in celebrity cannabis today, Seth Rogen’s Houseplant. A bit of an enigma, Houseplant has garnered significant criticism for a brand coming from such a well-liked and extremely stoned celebrity. I think this is in part due to the fact that the cannabis community expected much more from one of our own.

The Bottom Line:

Houseplant flower is beautifully branded, totally expensive, and grown by THC Design, a popular Los Angeles cannabis brand known for high THC indoor flower with insane bud structure. Unlike Forbidden Flowers, whose Glass House collab is front and center in their marketing, Houseplant tried to keep their THC Design connection a secret, which didn’t particularly sit well when it came out. For example, Houseplant’s Pancake Ice strain is basically just rebranded Crescendo by THC Design, the #1 selling flower in California last year. Come on, Seth. You can do better than that.

Tyson Ranch by Mike Tyson

Mike Tyson
Mike Tyson Instagram

The Brand:

Now for one of the most confusing brands in the celeb weed world, Tyson Ranch. When Mike Tyson launched Tyson Holistic Holdings in 2016, he had big plans. Aside from cannabis and edibles, the brand would include the first cannabis resort of sorts, a 418-acre ranch in the desert that would include a festival venue and the world’s longest lazy river, among other things.

The Bottom Line:

Despite countless feature articles that claim to take you “Inside Mike Tyson’s Cannabis Ranch,” the photos are all drawings, and everything exists as a hypothetical. The reality is that, five years later, there is no ranch — only mediocre weed and subpar gummies. I love Mike Tyson and hope he realizes this bat shit idea as only he could. But so far, no dice.

Peaches by Justin Bieber

Peaches by Justin Bieber
Palms Premium Instagram

The Brand:

As we near the end of this list, things are only getting worse. Next up in Dante’s descent into the inferno of celebrity mids is Peaches by Justin Bieber. Everything about this brand is annoying to me as a lifelong stoner. One, Justin Bieber has one of the largest platforms in the world and has never once used his voice to advocate for cannabis use. Suddenly entering the arena now that it’s socially acceptable seems like a cash grab from a dude who has plenty of cash.

Bottom Line:

The weed sucks. Grown by Palms Premium, it will get you high, but it doesn’t taste like anything or particularly smell like anything either, two major signs that the weed isn’t good, and clearly grown in some kind of industrial juggernaut that harvests 20 times a week and douses everything with chemicals.

Even if you get your peaches out in Georgia, I suggest you get your weed elsewhere.

Monogram by Jay-Z

$60 Monogram Preroll
Monogram Instagram

The Brand:

Monogram by Jay-Z is far and away my least favorite celebrity cannabis brand. While the packaging is gorgeous and the celebrity founder has extensive cannabis chops, the flower is terrible and absurdly expensive. Like…. $60 for a “hand-rolled” joint expensive. Even for the highest quality flower infused with kief or live resin, $60 would still be very expensive for a blunt. Instead of top-shelf flower, this joint is filled with shwaggy dried-out weed that honestly just makes you feel weird because it’s been so juiced for THC.

And that’s their flagship product.

The Bottom Line:

Their version of an eighth (four grams) is $70. This price point is usually reserved for some of the best weed on the market, not total mids from who knows where. The fact that the founder is a literal billionaire who came from nothing makes it all the ickier. He should know better and does.

This totally exploitive pricing system on shitty weed is nothing short of a bummer.

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