This Dream Job Will Send You To Sweden To Ski, Poorly

02.07.19 4 months ago

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Do you love the idea of skiing, but lack the skill required to professionally slide down a mountainside, at terrifying speeds, atop two thin blades, while you steer yourself with some really long fireplace pokers? And, follow up, do you love failing at things that you are paid to do? If the answer to both of those seemingly unrelated questions is an ecstatic, “yes!” then — take a deep breath, friend — we may have just found your life’s true calling.

Tenson, a ski-wear company, is looking for two “enthusiastic yet mediocre skiers” to serve as guinea pigs to test out their new line of products. The best part? You’ll be flown round trip from your home to Idre Fjäll, Sweden where you’ll make about $28 an hour to ski amongst the rugged mountains, magical lakes, and forests of one of the largest resorts in all of Scandinavia.

The job responsibilities are simple. You take a ski lift to the top, ski down, and then do it again. Aside from providing Tenson with some feedback, that’s pretty much all you have to do. So let’s get to the perks.

Well, we already mentioned the free trip to Sweden, so there’s that. You’ll also get to stay in a cabin just walking distance from the slopes, receive free ski rental gear, get to keep the Tenson gear you test, receive 8 hours of private lessons, and, perhaps best of all, you’ll get to bring a friend (all expenses paid). Which means you won’t have to make a new snow-friend, only to have them slowly melt away, reminding you how fleeting life is. And also, how you’re just as bad at making snowmen as you are skiing.

Anyway, key qualifications include being an expert at falling, not knowing what terms like pow, ripper, glades, and poaching are (in a ski context), and the tendency to blame your lack of skill on skiing itself and faulty gear rather than on your own shortcomings. Education is “not necessary”.

Does this sound like you? Then definitely apply and check out Tenson’s site for the full details. There are only two positions, so good luck and may the snow be ever in your favor — which is definitely a common thing that people who ski say to one another, or “ski people” (as they’re called in professional ski circles). Yeah, we should apply for this job.

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