From decorating trees and manger scenes for Christians, to lighting candles and spinning dreidels for Jews, to drinking eggnog for milky, yolk-filled booze lovers of any belief system — the holidays are a time for us to gather together and celebrate our favorite traditions. But here’s the thing about traditions: Sometimes they can be a bit too traditional. We sing the same songs, we eat the same food, we even crowd into the same movie theaters after the presents have been opened. This isn’t just “the most wonderful time of the year,” it’s also the most repetitive.
This year, let’s spice things up with some of the craziest, coolest, and most surprisingly scatological traditions from around the globe.
The Poop Log — Catalonia
Imagine this Christmas morning: A fire is crackling, Bing Crosby plays softly over the speakers, everyone is snug and toasty in their pajamas and robes…and children beat an anthropomorphized log while singing this (very real) song:
Hazelnuts and mato cheese,
If you don’t sh*t well,
I’ll hit you with a stick,
Quick take: Interesting subject matter plus evocative lyrics equals a solid win for music lovers.
This holiday tradition from Catalonia involves bringing a log into the house during the Feast of the Immaculate Conception on December 8, “feeding” the log and keeping it warm under a blanket, then beating that log until it panic-sh*ts raisins and candy on Christmas day.
Again, they beat a piece of wood until it craps presents. This is very, very real.