No Need To Argue, The Meatball Sub Is The World’s Greatest Sandwich

03.15.19 4 months ago

Uproxx

Last week, I betrayed my relationship and I don’t know if it will ever recover. Seriously, it was bad.

Here’s what happened: My husband came home from work early. I knew I owed him the truth, but I thought, “He’ll never find out. I’ll take this to the grave.” Then he went to throw something out. That’s when he saw it. The evidence of what I’d done. I thought I had buried it deep down past the coffee grinds, but there it was — a meatball sub wrapper from All About The Bread.

“What. Is. This?” David asked, a look betrayal slowing dawning across his face.

“It’s… it’s not what it looks like,” I said. “Okay. Maybe it is. But it was just one time. I couldn’t help myself.”

“You know how much I love the meatball sub from All About The Bread,” he said. “Why didn’t you leave me half? A few bites?”

“I just….I wanted the whole sub,” I whispered.

There was no excuse. My husband had the right to be upset, devastated even. Because I can say right now, without an ounce of hyperbole, that a meatball sub sandwich is absolutely the world’s best sandwich. And it’s not even close.

From corner Italian delis to mass-produced Subway variety, every meatball sub is good. 100 times out of 100. Here’s why:

It is impossible to make a bad meatball sub.

Seriously, have you had a meatball sub from Subway? It’s f**king delicious. Like God himself created it on the 6th day so that he’d have something to eat while he rested. And yes, Subway has bad bread. Bad meatballs even. So why is it still good? That’s the mystery! It’s like the combo of bread, meatballs, tomato sauce, and cheese is the Captain Planet of foods. Alone, they could be good or medicore, but put them together, SUPERHERO. Every time.

Tell me a restaurant that once made you a bad meatball sub? Seriously, take inventory. I’ll wait. Now tell me this: NAME ANOTHER FOOD THAT HAS NEVER LET YOU DOWN LIKE THAT!!!

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