In further news that will make you wish you celebrated Hanukkah instead, the War on Starbucks’ Red Solo Cups is still raging. A brief recap for those who don’t religiously (phrasing) check the Internet during the weekend: Christian evangelists are protesting Starbucks annual holiday cups because “instead of whimsical drawings of snow flakes and snow men on the red cups, this year’s batch are just red, with no other adornment but the green and white logo.”
These Helen Lovejoys were incensed, until they realized the stupidity of being mad at something so meaningless and gave the $40 they spend weekly at Starbucks to charity. J/K, they’re “changing” their name to Merry Christmas.
The “cause” was spearheaded by Joshua Feuerstein, a self-described “Facebook personality. Jesus lover. People person. Checkers and Yahtzee Master.” In a Facebook video, Feuerstein, who’s Kevin James in a Fred Durst hat, explained that “instead of boycotting, what if we started this movement?” After using the Starbucks bathroom, he continued, “I asked for my coffee, and they asked for my name, and I told them my name is Merry Christmas.”
Meanwhile, this guy has the right idea.
The fake names worked well until someone requested “Fireproof Is a Terrible Movie.” Starbucks employees don’t want to anger Christians THAT much.