Prepare yourself for heartbreak. Taco Bell has just announced a revamp of their menu, cutting it down from 15 combo choices to a lean 10 — plus a three-item breakfast menu — and they’ve removed nine menu items in the process. In a press release announcing the change, Taco Bell tried to get cute with it, asking if customers had ever “had that moment where you just want to chop all your hair off, buy new clothes and get a fresh, new start?”
Just stop right there Taco Bell executives, stop trying to get cute. The menu was perfect the way it was. Sure you could stand to get rid of that radioactive Mountain Dew drink you peddle, but that’s part of your weird “cater-to-stoners” identity. Don’t go changing just to please us.
Starting on September 12th, Taco Bell will be discontinuing the Double Decker Taco (ouch), Cool Ranch and Fiery Doritos Tacos (understandable), the Double Tostada, The Beefy Mini Quesadilla (fair), The Chipotle Chicken Griller, Chips and Salsa (WHY THE F*CK!?), the XXL Grilled Stuft Burrito, and the Power Menu Burrito. It’s a massacre.
The biggest loss will be the Double Decker Taco, which was one of Taco Bell’s greatest-ever creations. For the uninitiated, the Double Decker Taco was a hard shell taco, smothered in refried beans and wrapped with a soft flour tortilla. It was perfect for the person who couldn’t decide between a hard or soft shell taco and a burrito and it will be missed.
All of this begs the question: Why? A few possible reasons:
- The company has done research and realized it can make more profits by offering fewer items (less training, streamlined ingredient sourcing) because these items, while they may get ordered, fail to bring in new customers.
- The canceled items can now come back for a limited time, like the McRib over at McDonald’s, thereby creating a sales spike. (The DD taco is the only item worthy of this treatment.)
- Or — and this is the most fun idea — they’re making room for Impossible Foods or Beyond Meat Items on the menu. While these options might not be likely, more veggie items definitely seems to be in the cards.
Acquaint yourself with Taco Bell’s new combo numbers below with this weird spreadsheet they didn’t even bother to decorate so the next time you show up to Taco Bell stoned (as one does) you won’t end up ordering the wrong thing.