Kevin Smith has never been one to hold back his opinion, especially when it comes to his movies. He’s been letting his views be known about movie critics since the 90s and only last month said that he was done feuding with his movie critic foes, admitting that he was “too f*cking old to fight or care anymore.” Could we be witnessing the birth of an older and wiser Kevin Smith? Could the Kevin Smith who told Harvey Weinstein to “shut the f*ck up” when he heard him talking about football scores during the premier of Red State now be a more mellow man? Maybe.
But, in the meantime, on Clerk’s 20th anniversary (its take on retail hell still holds up) let’s take a look at some of the more recent feuds that had Smith putting on the gloves to duke it out with his fellow celebrities.
Smith vs. Jennifer Garner
Despite having made five movies together — Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike, and Jersey Girl — Ben Affleck isn’t inviting Kevin Smith down to the Batman set — mainly because of Jennifer Garner. In the eyes of Kevin Smith, Garner is Yoko Ono, splitting up his friendship with Affleck and forever robbing the world of Jersey Girl 2: Weekend at the Shore.
While at this year’s Comic-Con, Kevin Smith was asked by Yahoo about any inside knowledge of Affleck’s new Batman movie and if there was any potential for Affleck dropping by for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and had this to say:
“Great question. I don’t know, because we’re not f—ing tight. I have not been [close with him] in decades. That’s old Ben. He’s got a wife [Jennifer Garner] that doesn’t care for me at all.”
Smith had told the New York Daily News earlier that month that he and Ben were no longer close mainly because Jennifer Garner didn’t like his sense of humor. (Whoa, you mean a 30-something woman doesn’t have the same taste as the guy who wrote dialogue like this?!)
“Jennifer does not share the same sense of humor as me — she did not like my jokes. I was picking on Ben Affleck making fun of him because I’ve known him for a really long time — I was talking smack — and Jennifer goes, ‘You know, if you keep saying stuff about him, I’m going to kick your ass.’ And she could — I’ve seen Alias. She has a real girly sense of humor and didn’t understand that I was kidding.”
So, no, don’t expect Ben and Jen to make a cameo in Clerks III.
Smith vs. Neil Patrick Harris
In all fairness, Smith didn’t start the beef with NPH, but simply came to his buddy Jason Mewes’ defense with Harris called Mewes a drugged out wannabe actor during an interview for Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay back in 2009.
Neil Patrick Harris: They were smart for actually hiring two actors that were actual actors playing parts, instead of hiring two sort of dudes that were those guys. They didn’t hire like Jason Mewes and the other dude… Silent Bob… What is that movie Jay and Silent Bob, like what’s Jay’s name?
Quint: Jason Mewes, you were right.
Neil Patrick Harris: He was this drugged out mess of a guy that was his friend and so he just cast him in the movie and filmed him doing crazy sh*t.
Smith was quick to jump to Mewes defense and took to his keyboard to throw some jabs at NPH from the safety of Twitter saying this about NPH’s accusations:
“is not only untrue, it minimizes Mewes’ contributions as AN ACTOR. It’s a narrow-minded, ignorantly reductive sentiment, patched together from quasi-facts that aren’t even related. It’s akin to me knowing NPH is gay & knowing he’s on [How I Met Your Mother], and then somehow coming to the conclusion that his process must include a dick in his mouth right before each take… & THEN EXPRESSING THAT SAME BAFFLING IGNORANCE IN AN INTERVIEW.”
The entire thing ended rather quietly with Harris tweeting an apology.
Smith accepted the apology and was free to move on to his next Hollywood feud, which would be…
Smith vs. Bruce Willis
The 2010 goofy cop comedy Cop Out, wasn’t exactly a success for director Kevin Smith. Besides going down in flames at the box office and being buried under bad reviews, making the movie became a “soul-crushing” experience for Smith thanks to Bruce Willis. Ouch. Smith went on Marc Maron’s WTF podcast and laid into Willis, telling Maron that he was once a fan of the actor, but said Willis simply wasn’t a team player.
“It was difficult. I’ve never been involved in a situation like that where one component is not in the box at all. It was f*****g soul crushing. I had no f*****g help from this dude whatsoever.”
When asked about Smith’s comments, Willis was a bit more polite and basically summed up that Smith was acting like a man-baby.
“Poor Kevin. He’s just a whiner. We had some personal issues about how we approached work,” he replied. “I don’t have an answer for him. I’m never going to call him out and lay him out in public. Sometimes you just don’t get along.”
While working with Bruce Willis might have forever tainted Die Hard for the director, Cop Out wasn’t entirely a nightmare for Kevin Smith. He did get to work with television’s favorite mad man, Tracey Morgan, who Smith said working with was “a f*cking dream.”
Smith vs. Adam Carolla
Smith went toe-to-toe with fellow podcaster Adam Carolla back in 2012 when the pair were briefly linked to work together on a Warner Brothers pop culture pilot, before Carolla fell out of the project. Both parties pointed the finger at each other with Smith saying that the studio gave Carolla the boot because the former Man Show co-host wasn’t satisfied with the six-figure deal.
Carolla on the other hand laid the blame on Smith for having him dropped from the project because he wouldn’t go into his nerd den for a podcast appearance. Carolla took to his own podcast to dispel Smith’s accusations and had this to say:
“If Kevin Smith really feels it went down the way it went, and maybe he does, he should get a CAT Scan and a functional MRI because there’s going to be problems.”
After a few mentions of possibly bringing the project back to life over Twitter, Smith eventually went on Carolla’s podcast where the two debated the reason for the show idea falling apart.
Smith vs. Southwest Airlines
You might not find it on their website, but Southwest Airlines has a policy against extra large hockey jersey-wearing directors. Smith was kicked off a flight in 2010 for, according to him, being too plump for their seating. Smith took to Twitter and with his pudgy fingers typed a message to the airline expressing his dissatisfaction for being removed from the flight.
“Dear @SouthwestAir – I know I’m fat, but was Captain Leysath really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?”
To make things right, Southwest did offer Smith a $100 too-fat-to-fly voucher, but that just fueled his Southwest rage.
“So, @SouthwestAir, go fuck yourself. I broke no regulation, offered no “safety risk” (what, was I gonna roll on a fellow passenger?). I was..wrongly ejected from the flight (even Suzanne eventually agreed). And fuck your apologetic $100 voucher, @SouthwestAir. Thank God I don’t..embarrass easily (bless you, JERSEY GIRL training). But I don’t sulk off either: so everyday, some new fuck-you Tweets for @SouthwestAir.”
Smith eventually landed in Burbank after taking another Southwest flight and sending more angry tweets to the airline in the process. Southwest offered Smith an apology tweet and even penned their own blog post on the ordeal titled “Not So Silent Bob” but the damage had already been done and Smith said they were only apologizing to save face because he was a celebrity.
Only time and Cheetos will tell which celebrity/airline rubs Smith the wrong way next.