There are two fairly common complaints you hear about the movies Hollywood is making these days. The first is that studios are focusing all their resources on huge summer blockbusters that are based on existing intellectual properties, or remakes of old hits, or sequels to remakes and films based on existing intellectual property, with the end result being an ever-narrowing selection of choices for people looking for cool original movies. Which is fair, all around, and shows no real sign of improving, as studios have various movies about various comic book universes scheduled out through the mid-2020s.
The second complaint is that there are not enough movies about talking ghost dog wedding planners. I hear this one all the time. “Why doesn’t Hollywood just make a nice movie about a talking ghost dog that plans a wedding?,” people say to me, at least once a week. And I get it. It’s been a failure from top to bottom, studio executives to aspiring screenwriters. People just don’t make movies about talking ghost dogs that plan wedding.
That’s right, folks. Someone finally stepped up and made a movie about a talking ghost dog that plans a wedding. And that movie is called Best Friend From Heaven. And it has a trailer. Which is posted above. I really must insist you watch it. It is… something. It is definitely, almost aggressively something. I’m not sure I can even formulate all my thoughts on this into actual paragraphs with actual transitions, so instead, please allow me to present them as a series of notes.
– The plot, in short: A woman is preparing to get married. She appears to be hanging around her house — in her gown already? — before the wedding when tragedy strikes. Her beloved dog Gabriel gets hit by a car after chasing a squirrel into the street.
– At this point, we learn two things: One, the crash killed Gabriel and he went to Heaven, which we know because there is a shot of him talking to another dog while sitting on a fluffy white cloud. Two, the wedding was canceled and postponed indefinitely, which is actually kind of reasonable. I mean, canceling a wedding is a big deal, and a lot of very large deposits will go poof if you do it. On the other hand, can you imagine trying to get married, like, an hour after your beloved dog died suddenly? It’s all very sad.
– Luckily, there is very little time to be sad because we move quickly to my favorite moment of this trailer and maybe my favorite moment of any movie ever. Gabe heads back to Earth to settle his unfinished business of getting this wedding done, and he jogs into the backyard and says, I swear to God, “Hey guys, I’m back. I can talk now.”
– “Hey guys, I’m back. I can talk now.”
– I like to picture two writers pulling their hair out in a Hollywood coffee shop, frantically trying to figure out how to explain the part of their movie where the ghost dog explains his return and his newfound ability to speak English, until one of them bolts upright as though an idea possessed his entire body like a spirit from another dimension, then announces “What if the dog just says ‘Hey guys, I’m back. I can talk now’”?
– I don’t think I’ll ever get over this.