Media Takes Daniel Craig’s ‘Slash My Wrists’ Bond Jokes Seriously After Missing His British Sense Of Humor

All of the excitement about James Bond casting rumors makes it easy to get carried away. Nearly any media story that mentions Bond in the same breath as Tom Hardy, Idris Elba, Jason “Bloody Hell” Statham, or (even) Damian Lewis instantly goes viral. People like talking about Bond casting rumors as much as they like complaining about the latest guy chosen as Batman.

It’s also easy to imagine that Daniel Craig gets awfully tired of answering questions about whether he’ll be back as Bond. Obviously, his contract virtually guarantees that he’s not done, but that doesn’t stop the journalistic hits from coming. Crotchety Craig has fun with interviewers, and they’re failing to recognize his sarcastic British humor. Here’s the latest edition from Time Out London, who asked Craig how he feels about playing Bond after SPECTRE:

“Now? I’d rather break this glass and slash my wrists. No, not at the moment. Not at all. That’s fine. I’m over it at the moment. We’re done. All I want to do is move on.”

The journalist pressed forward, and Craig keeps the sarcastic gems coming:

“I haven’t given it any thought. For at least a year or two, I just don’t want to think about it. I don’t know what the next step is. I’ve no idea. Not because I’m trying to be cagey. Who the f*ck knows? At the moment, we’ve done it. I’m not in discussion with anybody about anything. If I did another Bond movie, it would only be for the money.”

For the money, eh? Well, the train on these questions certainly isn’t going to stop now, so the journalist asks who Craig wants to play Bond:

“Look, I don’t give a f*ck. Good luck to them! All I care about is that if I stop doing these things we’ve left it in a good place and people pick it up and make it better. Make it better, that’s all.”

Craig is doing that thing the English call “taking the piss,” and he’s having a ball doing so in his own grumpy way. He’s a chronic complainer and doesn’t care what people think of what spills out of his mouth. He never apologizes after offending Bond lovers, but that may be his way of getting back at those who scoffed at him during the making of Casino Royale.

These quotes — as dire as they look when blockquoted — are Craig’s way of poking fun at the endless stream of trade news rumors. What he really meant to say was this: “Please stop asking me whether I want to play James Bond again. What I want doesn’t matter, as I’m contractually obligated to continue past SPECTRE. And you people are annoying the hell out of my brass bollocks.” There. Fixed.

The reality of the situation hasn’t stopped certain mainstream news outlets from isolating Craig’s sarcastic quotes and providing no context to their readers.

(Via Time Out London and Variety)