Be The Ferris Bueller Of Your Own Design With These Perfect Sick Day Suggestions

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Tomorrow isn’t just another beautiful summer Saturday, it is also Ferris Bueller Day — the 30th anniversary of the classic film’s release. In honor of this occasion, we thought you should start considering what day(s) this summer to use as a “sick” day to do something special for yourself. Like, say, go to a bar and watch sports and drink beer all day. Doesn’t that sound nice? Yes, it does.

This summer is particularly busy. We’ve got the Copa America Centenario, the biggest soccer tournament on U.S. soil since the ’94 World Cup as teams from North, Central and South America battle for hemispheric bragging rights. At the same time, Euro 2016 will be kicking off in the mornings, as the top European nations battle for the championship, an event that comes once every four years. Then there’s the Tour de France in July, the Summer Olympics in August, and oh yeah, I guess baseball’s still going on too.

We’ve sifted through all the noise to find the best five days this summer to call in sick and spend the day out on a patio, sipping a drink and discovering a deep passion you never knew you had for Belgian soccer, bicycle races and swimming. If you follow this, we can promise you will never go more than two full work weeks in a row without a day off all summer. In fact, you’ve got a choice to make for your very first sick day! (All times are in Eastern.)

Monday June 13: Remember, one flaw about calling in sick is you usually still have to get up early to make the call. Do it, and then make yourself a nice breakfast for the Spain-Czech Republic Euro match that kicks off at 9 a.m.. When that ends around 11, take the time to head to your favorite bar or patio for noon’s Ireland-Sweden match. You’ve waited until noon AND it’s an Ireland game, it’d be rude NOT to have a drink! Close out the afternoon with a 3 p.m. Belgium-Italy match. These are two of the top teams in Europe meeting for an early group game, and if you can get past the fact that Belgium knocked the U.S. out of the last World Cup, you’ll find plenty to hate in an Italian squad that dives like a flock of swans. If you haven’t had your fill of soccer yet, close out the bar, and the night, with an 8 p.m. Mexico-Venezuela Copa America Centenario game and, if you’re lucky, maybe an NBA final game. What a day! Now pace yourself, because summer’s just beginning (and if we’re being honest, you probably should go back to work tomorrow).


Friday, June 17: Like to start your three-day weekends early? This gives you a front-loaded three-day weekend, plus, if you know you’re going to take it off, the chance to work some extra hours Monday-Thursday to ensure you’re not missed when you come down with that awful “Summer Flu” that’s been going around. So what are you watching? Similar to Monday, it starts with soccer in the morning. Kick things off with a 9 a.m. Italy-Sweden match, but then ask the barkeep to switch to the U.S. Open golf championship. First cuts will have already happened, so you’ll have an idea of the early story lines, and golf is slow enough it should give you plenty of time to chat with the bartender and make yourself into a regular by day’s end — your wallet will be glad you did by the end of the summer. If baseball’s your slow, antiquated sport of choice, sure, there’s a Cubs-Pirates game on at 2:20.

Say hi to the suckers that come in for happy hour, then outlast them until 8, as that’s when a Copa America quarterfinal game kicks off that’s likely to be the U.S. against Brazil. There’s a good chance the U.S. gets smoked in this, but then again, crazier things have happened.

Regardless, it’s your last chance to see the U.S. Men’s National Team this summer in a meaningful game, and even when they’re kicking your ass, Brazil is a sight to watch.