Hailee Steinfeld Contemplated ‘Stealing’ An Unaccompanied Oscar

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Each year, the mystique of the Academy Awards is diminished a little bit. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Seeing that celebrities are human — whether via backstage cameras, reaction shots, or social media sharing — can make them more sympathetic. The little flubs can be reassuring that even the beautiful people eat candy, knock the microphone, or can get hit in the head with blue silk props standing in for the ocean while they sing their Academy-nominated song.

But have you ever wondered where the Oscar winners put their statuettes after the speeches are recited and they’ve returned to their seats? It’s not like the chairs have Oscar-shaped cup holders. Perhaps they shove it down in the seat next to them. Or maybe they give it to one of their handlers to hold on to for the remainder of the evening. Or, if they’re really bold, they just put on the floor like an empty jumbo-sized soda at their local cineplex. After all, who would have the nerve to steal it?

Hailee Seinfeld, that’s who. Look. She’s just performing a public service. You wouldn’t leave your handbag unattended on the floor. So you definitely shouldn’t leave Oscar there. Which means this little golden statue probably belongs to a dude. A lady would know better.