Usually when you hear about Kevin Smith around these parts, it’s in one of Chareth’s colorful anti-jorts rants, but there are occasionally reasons to praise the man, like when he’s awesomely generous. He also seems to be a doting father to his 16-year-old daughter, Harley Quinn Smith, whom you may have seen in Yoga Hosers if you were contractually obligated to write a review of Yoga Hosers.
Recently, Harley shared a harrowing story about a near-kidnapping. Here’s the full blockquote from Instagram, but the short version is, she’s a smart kid who trusted her instincts when two grown-ass men who belong in jail told the teen they were the Uber she ordered.
PEOPLE OF LOS ANGELES- I was just standing outside a Starbucks in Brentwood, where I was waiting for my uber when a large, beige car drove up to me and tried to get me to think they were my uber. There were two white men (age 20-30) in the driver (blonde hair) and passenger (brown hair) seat with an uber sign on their front window, but they were most definitely not uber drivers. When I asked who they were there to pick up, making sure it was the right car, they wouldn’t answer me and said to get in the car. They didn’t have the uber app on their phone and were clearly just two disgusting dudes trying to kidnap a girl standing on her own. Protect yourself and never ever get in a car without checking that it’s the correct car first!!! I was in too much haze of fear that I wasn’t thinking straight enough to think to take a picture of the drivers or the license plate, but if you see a car like this PLEASE report it to the police and stop them from trying to pray on other young girls!!! We have already reported it to the police, but more information would be helpful in finding them. Be careful and look out for yourself/others!!!! (Via)
This is why we can’t have nice things.
Harley’s dad is, thankfully, serious about convincing his kid there’s still good in the world. He gave her this reassuring cake, customized with the message, “Sorry men suck.”
Because we can’t let a post involving Kevin Smith go by without a Kevin Smith joke, allow me to steal a punchline from Jacktion! “The next day, he gave her another cake that said, ‘Sorry I ate your other cake.’ ”
It’s not all bad news, though. Good things have been happening in the Smith household, as well. After hosting DC and Warner’s Dawn of the Justice League special, Kevin was gifted with the actual Harley Quinn bat used by Margot Robbie in Suicide Squad. He gave the bat to his favorite Harley Quinn, who then cried (for a good reason) at such an awesome gift.
Yeah, that’s pretty cool, I guess. Sure. Whatever. Not jealous or anything. I may not have that bat, but I also have a shirt with my name on it. Mom says I’m cool.