Above is what I picture Tobey Maguire looks like as his alias, Neil Deep. Actually any of his later looks from The Spoils Of Babylon might fit the bill, or would’ve if he hadn’t been outed. It seems that Hollywood’s super secret aliases are the newest casualties of the massive Sony Pictures hack that totally wasn’t North Korea’s fault.
Yeah, there’s a really dark side to this entire leak and many people that don’t deserve to have their lives ruined are at risk. But then stuff like this or the Adam Sandler character assassination pop out and you can’t help but laugh a bit. From Fusion:
In the latest batch of files leaked by a hacking group known as “Guardians of Peace,” there is a folder containing “publicity bibles” for many recently released Sony Pictures films. These documents, which are compiled and distributed among film staff, serve as contact directories for the duration of filming. They include phone numbers and e-mail addresses for directors, producers, publicists, cast members, and crew. And, in some cases, they include the false names stars assume in order to protect their privacy.
It’s nothing new for a star to use a fake name when traveling or attempting to keep a low profile. Notting Hill had entire piece of plot revolving around the very notion. I’m just glad to know that it isn’t just a piece of legend and that it really is a general requirement for films.
Maguire’s Neil Deep is a leading favorite among the folks within the cool, grey walls of the UPROXX factories, but there are a few other great highlights:
Tom Hanks: goes by “Harry Lauder” and “Johnny Madrid” (the former of which was the name of a famous Scottish comedian, and the latter of which may be a reference to a character on Lancer, a 1960s Western series)…
Jessica Alba: goes by “Cash Money”…
Ice Cube: goes by “Darius Stone” and “O’Shea Jackson” (the former of which was his character’s name in XXX: State of the Union, and the latter of which is his actual name)…
Rob Schneider: goes by “Nazzo Good” (not so good – get it?)
You can check out some of the others over here, but they sort of leave a lot out creatively. Perfect for an alias you want to hide under, but terrible for fodder on the Internet. Rob Schneider being in on the joke isn’t fun, though. That’s probably the biggest tragedy out of this entire hack.
If any of these celebrities are looking for new names to use, I’m throwing services out there to assist. I’m pretty good at aliases and most of the strip clubs on the East coast can confirm that. Well they could, but they’d have to know my real name. Just consider that my CV. I’ll be expecting your call.