Movies

This Fan Theory Pits Keanu Reeves’ Famous Film Roles Against The Unstoppable John Wick

There’s no denying that John Wick is pretty damn formidable once you set him off. The latest of Keanu Reeve’s memorable characters is back this weekend in John Wick: Chapter 2 and it’s gaining pretty favorable reviews, but it has also sparked the fun theory above.

Wick is a bad ass and has no trouble taking on an entire army of assassins and goons to find his revenge. But what happens when John Wick runs up against some of Keanu Reeve’s other famous roles? Can Keanu best Keanu? Are we falling too far down the rabbit hole? Some would say we haven’t fallen enough.

The fan theory pits John Wick against the likes of Johnny Utah from Point Break, Neo from The Matrix, and the film version of John Constantine. And in the end, they don’t stand a chance. Even Reeves’ magical white samurai from 47 Ronin is no match for Baba Yaga — even folklore usually portrays Baba Yaga as a fearsome woman and not a slick murderer who loves dogs.

The only character that can put up a fight with John Wick is the one character that Reeves will be returning to for a third installment at some point in the near future: Ted Theodore Logan from Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Time travel would give almost everybody an edge and Ted doesn’t even need his Wyld Stallyns bandmate to beat the assassin. It’s a sweet deal for a guy who is already bringing peace to the universe and history via the power of rock and roll.

That all said, there’s a few characters missing from this theory. Where’s Don Jon from Much Ado About Nothing? Don’t think he could take John Wick? Or how about Johnathan Harker from Bram Stoker’s Dracula? I would give them both a chance based on accents alone. And how could we forget about Johnny Mnemonic? Give him a whale that can hack a highly secure computer system and John Wick doesn’t exist.

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