It wasn’t too long ago that water was found on the surface of Mars. While that news story got a lot of attention and has generated a bunch of excited speculation on whether we all can live a truly adventurous Total Recall kind of life on the red planet, there’s some even more important news about the fourth planet from the sun.
Ridley Scott’s The Martian premiered last weekend to great box office returns. Matt Damon delivers a pretty great performance as stranded astronaut Mark Watney. Apparently, his role was so believable that a bunch of people have come to the conclusion that the film is really based on a true story and not actually an adaptation of Andy Weir’s debut novel.
In response to the public’s growing concern of Matt Damon’s well-being, one genius by the name of Kyle Douglas M. has created a GoFundMe account to rescue the actor from the desolate planet and bring him home:
One of the greatest actors in Hollywood is currently trapped on Mars after a failed exploration. We need Matt back on earth because he is due to be in another “Bourne” movie. Matt is also a loyal friend to another Hollywood great Ben Affleck who needs Matt Damon’s support as he goes through a divorce. Failing to bring Matt back could be devastating to our American life and will have a devastating impact on film if we don’t rescue Matt.
Look, this is obviously a joke — please confirm with me this is a joke — as the page is requesting $99 million to bring the Good Will Hunting actor home. People aren’t going to donate to this, right? I mean, another way of confirming Damon is still on his home planet is just to turn to HBO for new episodes of Project Greenlight on Sunday nights, but who wants to do that? Instead, let’s just take Jason Bourne to motherf*ckin’ space! I’d watch that movie so hard.