Rules are rules, plain and simple. They are there for a reason and shall not be broken.
And yes, that 100 percent includes times when you might have farted and needed to crack a window to get some air. Madam’s Organ, a popular bar in the Adams Morgan section of Washington, D.C., recently learned that fact the hard way.
The bar was fined $500 for violating its Settlement Agreement in violation of D.C. Official Code 25-446(e), which states that “the doors and windows of the establishment will remain closed from 12:30 a.m. until closing when live music is being played.” There are no exceptions listed, so being trapped in one’s own flatulence and needing a reprieve is sadly not allowed. Which is exactly what happened on the night in question.
Madam’s Organ’s General Manager Carlos Wilcox testified at an ABRA hearing that he “personally closed the windows during the performers’ first break of the night.” However, at some point during the band’s second set, their drummer broke wind, apparently to such a powerful degree that they needed a hit of fresh air to keep the show going. So, they cracked a nearby window, which is when an inspector observed the band playing “directly in front of one of the establishment’s ground floor windows” between 1:30 and 1:33 a.m.
The bar’s owner, Bill Duggan, was less than thrilled with the situation.
“Twenty f****** years with not one violation and this is what they came up with. People get stabbed and shot in these other establishments. In ours, someone farts and cracks a window and they spend a year on it.”
Madam’s Organ has 30 days to pay the fine, although they might appeal it. As for the drummer?
We all fart, drummer. But lest we forget, farts have consequences.