Christmas songs are supposed to be about community, warmth, togetherness and hair. But in a year as undoubtedly full of heinous bullsh*t at The Year Of Our Lord Two Thousand And Sixteen, a little bit of hate can feel as nice as a hot toddy and a screening of Die Hard. Luckily, Fiona Apple’s here with the angry Christmas cover we all need. The singer-songwriter posted her own twist on the Nat King Cole’s “The Christmas Song” to Tumblr, twisting the lyrics to better reflect her ideas about our new president-elect.
“Trump’s nuts roasting on an open fire” is how Apple starts the song and it only gets more vicious from there. Though it’s been said, many times many ways, Apple needed to extend her own “f*ck you” to the president-elect. Check it out up top.
If Fiona makes you want to gather the friends and family for a bit of caroling, she’s helpfully shared the lyrics to her Trump-baiting track. Sing along with the lyrics below:
“Trump’s nuts roasting on an open fire
as he keeps nipping at his foes.
you’ll cry creepy uncle
every time he arrives
for he keeps clawing at your clothes
everybody knows some money and entitlement
can help to make the season white
mothers of color with their kids out of sight
will find it hard to sleep at night.
They know that truuump is on his way.
he’s got black boys in hoodies locked up on his sleigh
and every working man is going to cry
when they learn that Letch don’t care how you live or if you die
Sooo I’m offering this simple phrase
to kids from 1 to 92
although it’s been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Donald Trump, f*ck you”