Randy Newman Wrote An Excoriating Song About Donald Trump’s D*ck, But We May Never Hear It

Getty Image

Donald Trump has inspired quite a lot of ire in the music community over the past few years. A lot of artists have written songs and created music videos taking shots at the President of the United States — rappers YG and Snoop Dogg spring to mind as the most obvious examples — but it turns out ’70s piano balladeer Randy Newman has a track hidden away that truly takes the cake.

In a recent interview with Vulture, Newman revealed that he had written a excoriating song about the President’s anatomy, but that it likely won’t ever see the light of day.

“I did write about him. But the language was too vulgar. It felt too easy. The song was “My d*ck’s bigger than your d*ck / It ain’t braggin’ if it’s true / My d*ck’s bigger than your d*ck / I can prove it too / There it is! There’s my d*ck / Isn’t that a wonderful sight? / Run to the village, to town, to the countryside / Tell the people what you’ve seen here tonight.”

“The hook was ‘What a d*ck!’ Duh-duh-duh. ‘What a d*ck!’ But I just didn’t want to add to the problem of how ugly the conversation we’re all having is, so I didn’t put it out.”

While Trump escaped Newman’s ire this time, the “Short People” singer did take a shot at the current leader of Russia on his new album Dark Matter, in a song simply titled “Putin.” While it lacks the gravitas of a song about our President’s penis, it goes heavy on the satire: “He can drive his giant tractor / Across the Trans-Siberian plain / He can power a nuclear reactor / With the left side of his brain / And when he takes his shirt off / He drives the ladies crazy / When he takes his shirt off / Makes me wanna be a lady.”

Check it out below.