Fake Lesbians Will Perform At Sochi Olympics Opening Ceremony To Prove Russia Isn’t Homophobic

News & Culture Writer
02.07.14 8 Comments

The runaway sh*tshow disaster train that has become the Sochi Olympics continues to hurtle down the tracks. Responding to controversy of Russia’s strict anti-gay laws, the Sochi Olympics are reportedly going to have Russian pop duo t.a.T.u perform at Friday’s opening ceremony. t.a.T.u, if you’ll recall, enjoyed global popularity in the early/mid-2000’s for their hits “Not Gonna Get Us” and “All The Things She Said,” and equally importantly, for their penchant for dressing up in Catholic school girl uniforms and making out with each other. Ruh roh. Billboard writes:

According to reports, which quoted eyewitnesses of the ceremony’s rehearsals, Lena Katina and Yulia Volkova will sing their biggest international hit, “Not Gonna Get Us.” During the performance of the track, the Russian Olympic squad is to enter the ceremony, at Fisht Olympic Stadium.

Formed in 1999 by producer Ivan Shapovalov, who selected then-14-year-old Volkova and 15-year-old Katina from scores of candidates, the duo soon achieved scandalous fame, cashing in heavily on themes of teenage sex and lesbian love (even the Russian version of the duo’s name implies sex between two women). Both members of the duo are, however, known to be heterosexual.

So since they actually are hetero, they’ll probably just do a totally G-rated performance of their big hit and everything will be totally swell. Right?

Today, various Russian media reprinted Katina’s Twitter post, in which she complained about treatment on the part of the Olympics’ organizers.

“They have invited us to perform at the opening ceremony of the Sochi Olympics, but they’re treating the artists like shit!!!” said the post, which was later deleted. “The organization is horrible.”

So between ostensibly protesting anti-gay laws and being pissed off at less than stellar working conditions, the odds of Katina and Volkova not making out with each other onstage is that of a snowball in hell. Or a snowball in Sochi, if you will. (I KNOW it’s winter there, just roll with it.) Do you think two international pop stars making out with each other in front of the entire world counts as “homosexual propaganda targeted at minors?” If Russia is so worried about being “embarrassed,” stray dogs might be the least of their worries.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mGBaXPlri8&w=650&h=400%5D

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