The 10 Most Watched Music Videos Of 2013 Are Miley, People Who Aren’t Miley

One never thinks about their own mortality as much as they do in December. Not because it’s the holiday season, but because it’s the end of the year, and the end of the year means I’ll look at the most-watched music videos of the past eleven-and-a-half months and think, “But where’s all the Metallica videos about sandmen? Kids today…”

Vevo has revealed 2013’s 10 most popular music videos that, more often than not, double as SFW porn, including Miley (“Wrecking Ball,” with 391 million views), more Miley (“We Can’t Stop”), and other people who aren’t Miley. One minor surprise: “Blurred Lines” didn’t place in the top-five, despite the seemingly invincible trio of baby animals, naked ladies, and yelling at the used cigar known as Robin Thicke in the comments section.

1. “Wrecking Ball” — Miley Cyrus
2. “We Can’t Stop” — Miley Cyrus
3. “Scream and Shout” — and Britney Spears
4. “Diamonds” — Rihanna
5. “Roar” — Katy Perry
6. “Just Give Me a Reason” — P!nk and Nate Ruess
7. “Blurred Lines” — Robin Thicke feat. T.I. and Pharrell
8. “Stay” — Rihanna feat. Mikky Ekko
9. “La La La” — Naughty Boy feat. Sam Smith
10. “Kiss You” — One Direction

Me watching Toad the Wet Sprocket’s “All I Want” finished at #11.

(Via Vevo)