For the majority of the year, Brandon and I spend our days making jokes about sports and telling all of you wonderful people about the hilarious and otherwise stupid stories that occur in the world of entitled athletes. However, in between all of those asinine and absurd stories, we admittedly love to celebrate the more heartwarming and inspirational stories that the sports world has to offer, because they make us feel better about ourselves and the future of this world.
This year-end list has nothing to do with that, though, because as I started to put together a list of all the best sports moments, I ended up just watching a bunch of clips of people getting hit in the nuts. It’s definitely a lot more fun than being serious, because nut shots are basically the best thing in the world… when they’re not happening to us.
For the Pittsburgh Pirates and budding ace Jeff Locke, their 1-0 victory over the Detroit Tigers on May 30 was a statement that the Bucs were for real, as they also took 3 of 4 from the Tigers. For home plate umpire Manny Gonzalez, though, it was that time that he took a baseball right in the old strike zone.
One of the first things that I learned playing little league baseball as a kid was to always be aware of where the ball is at all times. Apparently this first base coach didn’t pay attention to that lesson, as the pitcher (I think that’s Cesar Valdez of the Diamondbacks, but I’m not positive) missed the first baseman’s glove by jusssssssssst a little, hitting the coach right above his fungo bat.
(Via SB Nation)
Athletes often have very strange pregame rituals, whether for the sake of getting warm or simply for superstitious reasons. Damien Brunner and Gustav Nyquist, for example, warmed up for Game 3 of the Western Conference Semifinals against the eventual NHL Champion Chicago Blackhawks by kicking around a soccer ball. That is, until Brunner chucked the ball right at Nyquist’s crotch. Haha, teammates!
Atlanta Hawks rookie Dennis Schröder hasn’t seen a lot of playing time this season, but he really made his first few minutes in the NBA count by punching DeMarcus Cousins right in the kiss cam. It looked like an accident, but Cousins was understandably furious after the play. Though that could have also been the fact that he still plays for Sacramento.
Chances are that Montreal Canadiens goalie Carey Price won’t remember February 6, 2013 as much for a 2-1 loss to the Boston Bruins as he will as the day that he took a puck right in his 1-hole. What’s worse about this particular nut shot is that it came in the pregame warmups and was administered by his own teammate. The appropriate revenge? Sleeping with his sister.
Back when it seemed like the Green Bay Packers were destined for a better season, Aaron Rodgers and Co. blew a 16-point lead in a heartbreaking 34-30 loss to the Cincinnati Bengals. The highlight of the game came during a little post-extra point brouhaha, as Vontaze Burfict showed what kind of man he is by giving Ryan Taylor a cheap slap right on his pylon. Burfict earned a penalty flag and many a “Not cool, bro” for his effort.
The San Francisco 49ers had no problem beating the hapless Washington Redskins in Week 12, but it probably didn’t help Robert Griffin III’s cause that Aldon Smith kicked him square in the uprights. I’m sure that RG3 is pretty bummed about the overall 2013 season and not just this one instance of his testicles being booted, but hopefully this Street Fighter upgrade of the incident will cheer him up.
During batting practice before Game 4 of the ALDS, Boston Red Sox slugger David Ortiz let his son take a few cuts so the media personnel could say, “Awwwww, how adorable.” However, Ortiz probably regretted the decision once his son displayed a perfect swing and hit a laser beam right at his foul pole.
The Miami Marlins will remember their September 11 victory over the Atlanta Braves as the game that locked up Jose Fernandez’s Rookie of the Year win, and also as the game in which Brian McCann taught everyone how to play baseball THE RIGHT WAY. But one unlucky fan will forever remember it as the day that he took a shot in the souvenir cup on a home run by Evan Gattis.
While filming a segment for the show Big Break NFL, golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez bounced a ball off a pane of glass and it hit him right on the fairway wood. But why is this one moment so much greater than all of the other heartwarming and inspirational moments that I’ve mentioned in this glorious list? Because any athlete can accidentally hit himself in the dick with a golf ball, but when you’re still doing it at 78, that’s just the stuff of legends right there.
(GIF via CBS Sports)