Japan Has Given Us The Most Intense And Dramatic ‘Rock Paper Scissors’ Match Of All Time

It really seems like we should thank Japan more often for the wonderful, joyous things they bring into our lives. So thank you, Japan. For real. The latest thing they’ve given us is the above video, which features possibly the most dramatic and emotional janken match (or “rock paper scissors,” if you’re a Philistine) in human history. BUT WAIT. This was no normal janken match. This was the finals of a tournament with potentially life-altering stakes.

You see, as Tokyo Hive helps explain, these two women are members of the J-pop group AKB48, which contains close to 150 members, if you can believe it. This is the seventh time that the group has held an intense janken tournament to determine who will be the lead artist for their own division of the group to get their own album. 98 members of the group participated in the tournament, and Tanabe Miku won the damn thing, defeating Yumoto Ami in the above video before breaking down into tears. Next stop: Chicken McNugget trading cards.

In layman’s terms:

but is it lit

Okay whew.

Basically, this is like if Beyoncé assembled Destiny’s Child the same way. That’s not real, of course. But it is how we ended up with Fifth Harmony! True story. (Not true.)