Alex Morgan’s Soccer Lesson On ‘The Bachelor’ Was Full Of Horrible ‘Balls’ Jokes

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The Bachelor is an American reality television dating game show which debuted on March 25, 2002, on ABC. The show is hosted by Chris Harrison.

That opening paragraph is straight from Wikipedia and that’s what you do when writing about a show you have never seen in your life. It’s the best way to educate yourself about pop culture.

On Monday night’s episode, U.S. soccer star Alex Morgan stopped by the show to give the contestants soccer tips and because I assume ABC pays very well. And when attempting to win the heart of a man, it’s only normal for a woman to think to herself, “If only I had better soccer skills, he would truly love me.”

Here’s another clip of the women playing soccer, and it’s not as bad as you’d think.

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Emily, 22, made a lot of saves! I don’t think you can credit Alex Morgan for that, but hey, this is a sports post and that video clearly contains a person with athletic prowess. And her skill or job or career or whatever is “Twin.” Why are you people watching this show?

Finally, the show’s marketing people tied Alex Morgan and women desperate for love and attention together in the only way they could.

Get it? Balls. The word can have two meanings and one of those meanings can be made sexual in the right context.