It’s A Pretty Bad Day To Be A ‘Dark Knight’ Super Bowl Conspiracy Theorist

Senior Writer
02.04.13 28 Comments

I have a confession to make – I’m a huge conspiracy nut. However, I’m not saying that I’m the kind of guy who will slap on a tin foil hat every time the government passes a law. I just love watching people dissect the most trivial of things and pretend that it’s code for some massive conspiracy. For example, have you ever watched the Jay Z Illuminati videos? Batsh*t, right? But there are people who legitimately believe that a secret society killed Whitney Houston in order to allow Blue Ivey Carter to join. At the very least, I respect their devotion.

Despite my fervor for these theories, though, I don’t like to post them that much, because spreading the gospel isn’t always a good thing. That’s why when someone sent me a video about how The Dark Knight Rises supposedly predicted the Aurora and Sandy Hook shootings, and it may also have a message buried within about a massacre at Super Bowl 47, I was like, “Nah, someone else have fun with that.”

And while there was obviously no massacre yesterday in New Orleans, I have to admit that the Super Bowl’s bizarre power outage might have turtle-headed a little fear poop.

The video’s author begins his wormhole to Crazytown (the figurative place and not the awful band) with the following message:

The following is just speculation or basically just sharing thoughts of possible references to Super Bowl 47 in the “Dark Knight Rises” Movie Feel free to add your theories below in the comments.

I left out the proper punctuation, because when it comes to decoding Illumnati Doomsday prophecies, there’s just no time for grammar. Anyway, we obviously had nothing to worry about yesterday, so I have no problem sharing this episode of lunacy today for a good laugh. Especially since the author dropped this little nugget in the comments of his own video:

If being a max retard means continually laughing all the way to the bank because of videos then yes I’m a maxtard!

Unless… am I just an Illuminati puppet, and he knew all along that I’d post the video because my birthday is 5-29-79 and 5 is the number of letters in Burns and 29 is how old I was one year before I turned 30 and 79 is the number of… God, this is stupid.

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