A Soccer Analyst Called Per Mertesacker ‘The Big F*cking German’ On Live TV

Even the most casual soccer fans should know that Arsenal and Germany’s centre back and 6-foot-6 human tower Per Mertesacker is better and more affectionately known as the “Big F*cking German.” That’s because “Big F*cking German” is so much easier and more fun to say than sounding like a dork who doesn’t know how to pronounce Per Mertesacker. And when it comes to mispronouncing names, I prefer not to do it to a guy who could ball his fist up, bop me on the head and hammer me four feet into the ground like a human nail.

Sky Germany journalist Chris Lymberopoulos knows how much fun it is to say Big F*cking German instead of Per Mertesacker, too, because he went ahead and referred to the Arsenal star by his nickname on a live broadcast of Sky Sports News this morning. The show’s hosts issued an immediate apology, but the whole thing’s dumb because, again, Big F*cking German is just an awesome nickname and nobody should have to apologize for it.