Yesterday, the Purdue University Intramural Sports department uploaded a video of the quarterback of the Sour Lemons flag football team in the Men’s Open Black League throwing a touchdown pass, and normally my response would be big freakin’ whoop. However, the video shows that the quarterback not only heaves the ball 30 yards for a perfect pass, but he also chucked it from behind his back. Now why on Earth would he do that? To determine this, I channeled my inner frat bro to break this amazing pass down.
Bros, so I was assed out at the Quad after last night’s White Trash Trailer Bash white panties graffiti rager with the Chi O’s and ADPi’s, and Fat Pat woke me up at 2 because nobody could find Dozer and Taint, who are the cubes of our flag football teams. So I up and chucked and took a bonger beat to get the Pizza Roll taste out of my mouth and I agreed to fill in if they didn’t show, because my dad once sold a car to Jeff George.
Anywho, we rode out to the field in the back of Juicer Dave’s monster truck and sure enough, totes no show by Dozer and Taint. Turns out they were in jail, but WTF, bros? You can’t punch cops the night before the championship against Sigma Chi when we’ve got the points trophy on the line. No way I’m letting those queerbeans win Greek Week after we demolished them in tug o’ war. Pussies, bro, you don’t even know.
So like, we were down by a touch after they fumbled the 2-point throw and Boob Job Lindsee showed up with her smokin’ hot Tri Delt little sister, so I was all like, “Hey babes, check this sh*t” and I chucked the ball behind my back to Black Mike, who was like TOUCHDOWN BITCH! Totally got me laid.