How Well Did Nike ‘Write The Future’ At The World Cup?

06.30.10 8 years ago 9 Comments

We get a lot of reader tips and links, and even if I personally don’t tell you so, I’m grateful for everyone that takes the time to write in and share their findings with us. I was especially grateful for this submission from sexy reader Cory, who sent us a breakdown of Nike’s epic “Write The Future” ad, and the dissection is just as impressive as the shoe company’s original three-minute ode to the World Cup.

(0:00) – Didier Drogba – Ivory Coast – Broke his arm before the tournament, still scored a goal. Team out of the World Cup.

(0:31) – Fabio Cannavaro – Italy – Italy only managed draws against Paraguay and New Zealand (they’re [sic] greatest soccer result ever) and gave up 3 goals and lost to Slovakia (they’re first WC as an independent nation and greatest win ever). Team out of the World Cup.

(0:45) – Wayne Rooney – England – Didn’t score a goal in the WC and was really a non-factor in England’s huge disappointment. England only scored 2 goals in the group stage. Team out of the World Cup.

More analysis, the full video and more after the jump.

(0:57) – Franck Ribery – France – Didn’t score a goal in the WC and was a non-factor in France’s debacle. France only scored 1 goal in the group stage. Team out of the World Cup.

*guest appearance* (1:10) – Tim Howard and Landon Donovan – USA – Howard likely cracked some ribs and Donovan actually shined. Rare exception. Team out of the World Cup.

*guest appearance* (1:40) – Roger Federer – tennis player – Upset after 6 previous Wimbledon titles. Out of Wimbledon.

(1:50) – Ronaldinho – Brazil – Didn’t even make Brazil’s final roster! Team still in the World Cup, though no thanks to him.

*guest appearance* (2:04) – Kobe Bryant – basketball player – Rare exception. Team won the NBA Finals and he was named Finals MVP [undeservedly — Ed.]

(2:12) – Cristiano Ronaldo – Portugal – Scored a goal (which was pretty) in Portugal’s 7-0 rout of the WC’s worst team. Was a non-factor besides that. Team out of the World Cup.

It’s not Madden-curse-esque, but it’s still pretty remarkable (or unremarkable you could say).

Well done, Cory. It actually is quite remarkable. I personally love to see Nike athletes go down in flames, and 2010 has truly been a great year for that. But leave it to Homer Simpson to just wander into an athlete jinx and come out of the ordeal totally unscathed. What’s his secret? You know, besides not being a real, three-dimensional being…

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