05.31.07 11 years ago 40 Comments

Infuriated with Jerry Buss Jim Buss the mole inside the organization someone in the Lakers front office, Kobe Bryant has demanded a trade from the team.  Or maybe not.  I think he may have changed his mind.  A lot's been going on the last two days, you see, and I don't really give a fuck.

Right now the Lakers are looking to unload Kobe to the Bulls.  Or Suns.  Or Bobcats.  Or maybe it's Lamar Odom and a draft pick they're trying to trade.  The important thing to know is that definitely maybe something might possibly happen during the offseason.  And if you're anything like me, then you realize how important and revelatory this story is.

Something we've also learned recently is that Kobe did not — absolutely not — have a hand in the Lakers trading Shaquille O'Neal to Miami.  Or he did.  But he said that didn't?  Something like that.

Hmm… what else?  Oh yeah, he also raped a chick in Colorado.  Wait, no.  He didn't do that.  Or at least the charges were dropped.  Fucking whatever.  The only thing certain in Kobe's world is that his wife, Vanessa, is an ugly tramp.  Aw dammit!  I keep getting confused!

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