The Most Important World Record In History

Move over, World’s Fattest Woman. More. More. Move all the way over. There’s a new Guinness Book of World Records entrant in town, and he’s probably the greatest thing to ever come out of Florida since crystal meth. You know, depending on your stance on crystal meth, in which case he might just be the greatest thing to ever come out of Florida.

Either way, Happie GOATie is now the world record holder for the longest ride on a skateboard by a goat. I believe the previous world record for a skating goat was held by Kim Kardashian. *high fives Ray J, lights hand on fire* Either way, first the goats were surfing, then they were performing parkour, and now they’re skateboarding. Pretty soon, X Games athletes are going to find themselves out of work.

Also, it’s important to note that if you Google search Happie GOATie, you need to spell his name properly. If you spell it Happy Goatie, you’ll get Happy Goatee, which will take you into a terrifying wormhole of terms and pictures that you don’t ever want to experience. Trust me.

After the jump, check out Happie GOATie’s awesome skateboarding antics.

(H/T to Laughing Squid.)

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