First things first, Minneapolis’ mayor is named Rybak, just like a certain meathead WWE pro wrestler. That’s his actual name. It’s “R.T. Rybak,” so in my head he will forever be known as Retweet Ryback.
Now that that’s out of the way, here’s the hook:
Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak today paid up his end of his friendly wager with Green Bay Mayor Jim Schmitt on the outcome of last Saturday’s NFC wild-card game, which the Green Bay Packers won against the Minnesota Vikings.
I’m pausing here, because I want you to assume that when two mayors make a bet, they’re betting money (like normal people), or at least some kind of service. Like, if the Packers lost, Schmitt would have to do Rybak’s laundry for a month, sitcom style. Maybe it’d be a SimCity thing, where if the Vikings lost, Rybak would have to send Schmitt an amusement park or zoo.
Continue reading. Here’s where the Rybak joke really gets good:
“We lost fair and square, so we’re sending the sausages,” Mayor Rybak said. “Next year, the Vikings will win it all — but until then, sadly, the cheese stands alone.”
FEED. ME. MORE! FEED. ME. MORE!
Mayor Rybak has sent Mayor Schmitt house-made sausages from Minneapolis restaurant Butcher and the Boar, recently named Restaurant of the Year by the Star Tribune. Mayor Schmitt had wagered Green Bay cheese, root beer and candy.
I know he’s gotta be true to his school and everything, but even the mayor of Minneapolis should’ve taken the Pack. Minnesota might hate him, but at least he’d have his sausage. Also, I hope next season begins with The Shield breaking into Minneapolis City Hall-Hennepin County Courthouse and beating him up. And taking his remaining food.
[via news release]