A Minor League Pitcher And Local Hero Broke Into An Office And Covered Himself In Pizza

02.03.16 3 years ago


A former minor-league pitcher, who also happens to be Tim Allen’s nephew, has found himself in some trouble with the law thanks to his undeniable love of pizza and naps.

Cory McGinnis, 26, allegedly broke into the office of a Pittsburgh marketing company, went to town on their leftover pizza, and then promptly fell asleep on a bed he made for himself.

The details, via Sporting News:

Pittsburgh television station KDKA reported that Cory McGinnis — whose uncle is actor/comedian Tim Allen — broke into Eyeflow Internet Marketing. Police said that once McGinnis was inside, he emptied the business’s fridge of pizza (left over from a Friday party) and fell asleep on a makeshift bed he created. He was found covered in pizza sauce and surrounded by leftover slices. He had even charged his phone and turned up the heat.

I have some questions here — mainly, what kind of pizza was it? Details are important! — but also a lot of respect. Obviously breaking the law is bad, but if you’re going to do it, I can’t really think of a better reason than for the chance to dip into a goldmine of pizza and then fall asleep warm and cozy with a full stomach. That’s the American dream right there.

As for his baseball career, McGinnis was drafted by the White Sox in the 22nd round of the 2012 MLB Draft, but never made it past rookie ball. Baseball wasn’t his calling, and now he’ll forever be known as the pizza burglar.

Tough break getting busted by the cops, but “he was found covered in pizza sauce and surrounded by leftover slices” is definitely something to be proud of. As someone who hopes to go out doing what I love, I want that sentence to be inscribed on my gravestone one day.


(Via Sporting News)

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