Nature is Cooler Than Baseball

Pro Wrestling Editor
07.27.11 3 Comments

This is the most interesting part of a Florida Marlins 11-2 midseason victory over the Washington Nationals. A praying mantis showed up in the Florida dugout, causing the Marlins announcing and production teams to completely forget about baseball happening and just film players reacting to it. What happens then comes dangerously close to infringing on Jon Bois “three-act play” storytelling as Marlins hitting coach Eduardo Perez and players Clay Hensley and Logan Morrison illustrate the only three ways I can think of to react to an unexpected, monstrous bug.

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Act 1: Clay Hensley

Hensley initially reacts like we all would, going OH MY GOD WHAT and spinning around in circles slapping at his back. But reality quickly sets in, and Hensley realizes 1) a praying mantis isn’t going to hurt him, and 2) it’s not every day that you’re a professional baseball player with a bug standing on your head, so why not relax and enjoy it. Hensley’s point of view evolves from confrontational to accepting, and I think that’s the only way to get through life.

Act 2: Eduardo Perez

Perez has the best and most identifiable reaction, noticing it out of the corner of his eye and just kinda looking at it for a while. Maybe he was trying to figure out if he was still at the baseball game, or if he’d been taken on a vision quest and was staring down his spirit animal. When he processes it, his reaction turns into a smile and a “ha, hey guys, look at this thing”.

Act 3: Logan Morrison

Morrison’s reaction is that of youth. He waves at the praying mantis as if he’s enlightened enough to commune with nature, then FLIPS THE HELL OUT when the mantis accepts his greeting and jumps on his shoulder. Probably a pretty normal reaction for a guy who spends all day on Twitter. Bugs are weird, right?

The Chorus

Ugh, the praying mantis isn’t watching home plate, you goons, it is a bug. Pay attention to the baseball.

[h/t Mike Westfall]

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