UNC And South Carolina Are Instate Rivals, Says Someone Who Has Never Heard Of North Or South Carolina

When it comes to sports reporting, sometimes you can’t let the little things — like facts, or geography — get in the way of a good story.

Last night, Jadeveon Clowney and the No. 6-ranked South Carolina Gamecocks kicked off college football season with a 27-10 win over the North Carolina Tar Heels. It was an important win, as the New York Post pointed out, because the teams are instate rivals. The state of “Carolina,” I guess.

As someone who lived in/went to middle school in North Carolina, here’s an easy way to tell them apart. North Carolina is the one where they filmed ‘Dawson’s Creek.’ South Carolina is the one with Myrtle Beach. That is literally the only thing in South Carolina. It’s just Myrtle Beach and then a state-wide parking lot with no lines drawn on it. “North” and “South” are not just descriptions, in the way you might describe “west Texas.” While we’re on the subject, I know New York would never have a reason to talk about them, but North and South Dakota are different things, too. Virginia is Virginia, and West Virginia is where Virginia put all the people it didn’t want in Virginia.

I kid, of course, but geography is the hardest, and I want you to be all right.

[via Awful Announcing]